Rain Cute

Newly issued alcohol warnings

2005-09-09T01:19:00.000+08:00

Newly issued alcohol warnings

The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.

interesting facts

2005-08-27T01:23:00.000+08:00

Believe It Or Not!

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All Polar bears are left-handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without knee caps.

They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

Cat's urine glows under a black light.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

I am. is the shortest complete sentence in the English language

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33.

She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

No word in the English language rhymes with month.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Starfish haven't got brains.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.

The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary.

When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896.

Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.

beautiful story

2005-08-19T01:51:00.000+08:00

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL ......AND YOU WILL CRY...
> > Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the
> operating> room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right?
> When> can I see him?"> > The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy
> didn't> make it."> > Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any
> more?> Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"
> > > The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One> of
> the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to> the> university."
> > Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to> son. She>
ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.
> > "Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.
> > Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a
> plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's
> idea> to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help
> somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be> using
> it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one> more
> day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always
> thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."
> > Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time,> after
> spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with> Jimmy's
> belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was
> difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried
> Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to> her
> son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal> things
> back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down
> across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
> > It was around midnightwhen Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed> was a
> folded letter. The letter said:> > "Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I
> will> ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to> say
I> LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.
> Someday we> will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little> boy so
> you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and>
old> stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she> probably
> wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her> dolls and
> stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This> really is
> a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and> showed
> me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The> angels
> are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus> doesn't
> look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was> Him.
> Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit> on
> God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's> when I
> told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye> and
> everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know> what
> Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you
> this> letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop> this
> letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of> the>
questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said> He was
> in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He> was
> right there, as He always is with all His children.
> > Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except> you. To
> everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I
> have> to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in
> the> Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for> supper.
> I'm, sure the food will be great
.> > Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is
.> all> gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God
> couldn't> stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel
> of> Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How> about> that?
> Signed with Love from: God, Jesus &Me.> > Let's see Satan stop this one.
> Take 60-seconds and send this to five other people, within the hour,
> you> will have caused a multitude of believers to pray to God for each> other.
> Then sit back and feel the Holy Spirit work in your life for doing> what
> you know God loves

Stress Relieving Exercise

2005-08-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to th office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look atyourpicture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What otherproblem canthere be greater than this one?

"Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries,troubles andlighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries ortroubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me togiveup my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time ofthenight?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if myfather hadn't left me a fortune?""
Honey,"
the woman replied sweetly, "I 'd have married you NO MATTERWHOLEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Stress Reliever # 7
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 RollsRoyce.
""Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad about that?""He was the original owner."

Stress Reliever # 9
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Stress Reliever # 10
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as amillionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before youmarried her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Stress Reliever # 11
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Stress Reliever # 12
A husband was asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?"
He replied: "Depends, if I can find a phone."

Stress Reliever # 13
Man to wife on wedding night: "Are you sure I'm the first man you aresleeping with?"
Wife replied: "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!"

Stress Reliever # 14"Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?"
Answer: "Because people started licking the wrong side."

Stress Reliever # 15
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me - my prettyface ormy sexy body?"
He looked at her from h ead to toe and replied: "I like your sense ofhumour."

Stress Reliever # 16Doctor to his lady patient: "You look terribly weak and exhausted!Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?"
Lady replied: "Doctor, I thought you said three males a day."

nakare;ate lang

2005-07-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

we rily can't start another relationship without ending the past
.. if you wanna move on go forget the past and grab the new one..
i know its not that easy to 4get but if we put in our minds we want it over....
we can make it.. and sure u wont regret...
Don't be a FOOL!!!LET GO...
How would you fight for THE ONE you LOVE?MAHAL mo nga pero habang ipinaglalaban mo naman siya...SINASAKTAN KA NAMAN!!!!!!!What are we going to do?
E ganyan talaga!REALITY BITES, as the saying goes...
MASAKIT, MAHIRAP, PARANG di MO MAKAKAYA...
OO, that's NORMAL sa pag LE-LET GO.Sometimes...
you'ld really want to forget all the hurts and convince yourself that
YOU'LL BE LOVING HIM/HER NO MATTER WHAT, COME WHAT MAY,
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!Ang nakapagtataka pa dun...
bakit ayan ka na naman..di mo naisip...
NAPATAWAD mo siya agad at nakalimutan ang sakit...
PERO WALA NAMAN SiYANG GINAGAWA...
WALA SIYANG GINAGAWA KUNDI SAKTAN KA!!! ang mas masakit pa dyan...
THE DAMN CYCLE GOES ON AND ON AND ON...Paulit- ulit lang yan..
OK..Palusot ng IBA... pag mahal mo, di ka magsasawa...
KAMOTE!!!!!C'mon!!! MAGSAWA NA tayo sa MGA SAKIT na binibigay nila!!!
THINK MAN!!!kung gano natin sila kamahal...
GANUN DIN nila tayo sinaktan!!!mahal ba natin sila dahil ganun sila?
o ganun sila dahil ALAM NILA NA mahal natin sila?!!!
Hai...SAYANG TALAGA...Dahil HINAYAAN NILANG MASIRA NG GANUN!
Im NOT expecting you guys to absorb everything i'm trying to say here...
All I want is for u to REFLECT...BIBITAW NA BA AKO?Who knows...
pag bitaw mo sa kanya......
THERE MAY COME A TIME NA MAKITA MO TALAGA ANG TAONG PARA SAYO.....
Someone who will hold your hand and GROW OLD with you.....
So now...Will you...MOVE ON AND LET GO????sa chat..marami kang tao na makikilala..
na magiging kaibigan or KAIBIGAN .habang lumilipas ang mga araw,
buwan na laging kayong nag uusap,unting -unti umuusbong ang d dapat,
un tipong naiinlove ka na sa kanya..MINSAN akala natin un mga PM nya sa iyo eh pambobola lang
(dba nga sa chat lokohan lang,d dapat kasali ang puso)
pero paano kung ang pati puso mo eh nasali? lagi nyo nalng sinasabi sa isat isa na maghihintay kau....
paano kung pareho kayong nasa magkabilang dulo ng mundo?
meron ka pa rin bang pag asa na magkikita kau? at handa ka ba tlagang maghintay?
paano kung ikaw lang ang tumupad sa usapan nyo?(ang hirap..)habang naghahanda ka sa panahon na magkikita kau sya nman, iyon laging busy sa buhay nya,un tipong wlang pakialam ..
d katulad mo abala sa paghahanda sa unang araw ng inyong pagkikita...
ANG SAKIT DBA? pero yan ang totoo.di mo nga alam eh na hintay ka ng hintay,
wla kang kaalam alam na ang hinihitay mo eh meron ng iba?BRB--
ay naku! ilang oras na ba ang lumipas?wla pa rin sya....
pero ikaw nman ito hintay ng hintay..iniisip mo lng na baka busy..
LAGI MO NLNG SYANG IPINAGTATANGGOL... lagi mo nlng syang hinihintay na mag online......
.matatapos na un time mo ,o-off duty ka na nga eh wla pa rin sya..OH BKIT........
KA UMIIYAK? sa inis ba o sa miss mo na sya tlga..NAPAMAHAL KA NA NGA SA KANYA....
sayang sana sya rin mahal ka n

PILIPINO GUMISING KA!!!!

2005-07-09T02:12:00.000+08:00

Mga kababayan,
> >Meron akong gustong ibahagi para sa ating lahat na mga
>PILIPINO. Simple pero parang mahirap gawin ng
>karamihan sa atin. Hindi ito makukuha sa puro daldalan
>lang or walang kabuluhang pagtatalo, kumilos tayo
>ngayon na.
> > >Sa ibang bansa: Pag nagkasala ang Pinoy, pinarusahan
>siya ayon sa batas.
> >Sa PINAS: Pag nagkasala ang ang Pinoy, ayaw niyang >maparusahan kasi sabi niya mali raw ang batas.
> > >Sa ibang bansa: Pinag-aaralan muna ng Pinoy ang mga >batas bago siya pumunta roon, kasi takot siyang >magkamali.
> >Sa PINAS: Pag nagkamali ang Pinoy, sorry kasi hindi
>raw niya alam na labag sa batas iyon.
> > >Sa ibang bansa: Kahit gaano kataas ang bilihin at tax
>sa USA okey lang, katuwiran natin doble kayod na lang.
> >Sa PINAS: mahilig ka sa last day para magbayad ng tax
>minsan dinadaya mo pa o kaya hindi ka nagbabayad.
>Rally ka kaagad kapag tumaas ang pasahe at bilihin
>imbes na magsipag mas gusto natin ang nagkukwentuhan
>lang sa munisipyo o kahit sa alinmang tanggapan.
> > >Sa Singapore: Kapag nahuli kang nagkalat or nagtapon
>ng basura sa hindi tamang lugar, magbabayad ka na 500
>Singapore dollars. Sabi ng Pinoy, Okey lang kasi
>lumabag ako sa batas.
> >Sa Pinas: Kapag nagkamali ang Pinoy katulad nang
>ganito, Sabi ng Pinoy, ang lupit naman ni Bayani
>Fernando, mali naman ang pinaiiral niyang batas eh
>akala mo kung sino. Ayun nag-rally na ang Pinoy
>gustong patalsikin si Bayani Fernando kahit na alam
>niyang mali siya.
> > >Mga igan, ilan pa lang iyan baka may iba pa kayong
>alam.
> >Bakit ang PINOY, pwedeng maging "law abiding citizen
>sa ibang bansa ng walang angal" pero sa sarili nating
>bayang PILIPINAS na sinasabi ninyong mahal natin, eh >hindi natin magawa, BAKIIITTTTT????????? > > >ETO PA, "Ang Pilipino NOON at NGAYON":
> >NOON: Wow ang sarap ng kamote (kahit nakaka-utot)
> >NGAYON: Ayaw ko ng kamote gusto ko French Fries >(imported eh)
> > >NOON: Wow ang sarap ng kapeng barako
> >NGAYON: Ayaw ko niyan gusto kong kape sa STARBUCKS >(imported coffee 100 pesos per cup)
> > >NOON: Bili ka ng tela para magpatahi ng pantalon like >maong
> >NGAYON: Gusto ko LEVI'S, WRANGLER, LEE (Tapos rally >tayo "GMA tuta ng KANO") Di ba tuta ka rin naman.
> > >NOON: Sabon na Perla OK ng pampaligo
> >NGAYON: Gusto mo DOVE, HENO DE PRAVIA, IVORY, etc. may >matching shampoo pa
> > >NOON: Pag naglaba ka batya at palopalo ok na, minsan >banlaw lang sa batis pwede na
> >NGAYON: Naka-washing machine ka na plus ARIEL powder >soap with matching DOWNY pa para mabango
> > >Alam ko mas marami pa ang alam ninyo tungkol dito, >pero ilan ilan lang iyan para bigyan ng pansin. > >Mga Pilipino ng ba tayo? O baka sa salita lang at >E-Mail pero wala naman sa gawa.

> > >Subject: filipinos > >My Fellow Filipinos,
> >When I was small, the Philippine peso was P7 to the
>dollar. The president was Diosdado Macapagal.
> >Life was simple. Life was easy. My father was a
>farmer. > >My mother kept a small sari-sari store where our
>neighbors bought sang-perang asin, sang-perang
>bagoong, sang-perang suka, sang-perang toyo at
>pahinging isang butil na bawang. Our backyard had
>kamatis, kalabasa, talong, ampalaya, upo, batao, and >okra.
> >Our silong had chicken. We had a pig, dog & cat.
> >And of course, we lived on the farm. During rainy
>season, my father caught frogs at night which my
>mother made into batute (stuffed frog), or just plain >fried.
> >During the day, he caught hito and dalag from his rice
>paddies, which he would usually inihaw.
> >During dry season, we relied on the chickens,
>vegetables, bangus, tuyo, and tinapa. Every now and
>then, there was pork and beef from the town market.
> >Life was so peaceful, so quiet, no electricity, no TV.
>Just the radio for Tia Dely, Roman Rapido, Tawag ng
>Tanghalan and Tang-tarang-tang. And who can forget >Leila Benitez on Darigold Jamboree?

> >On weekends, I played with my neighbors (who were all >my cousins).
Tumbang-preso, taguan, piko, luksong >lubid, patintero, at iba pa. I* don't know about you,
>but I miss those days. > >These days, we face the TV, Internet, e-mail,
>newspaper, magazine, grocery catalog, or drive around.
> >The peso is a staggering and incredible P54 to the >dollar.
> >Most people can't have fun anymore. Life has become a
>battle. We live to work. Work to live. Life is not >easy.
> >I was in Saudi Arabia in 1983. It was lonely,
>difficult, & scary. It didn't matter if you were a man >or a woman.
You were a target for rape. The salary >was cheap & the vacation far between.
If the boss >didn't want you to go on holiday, you didn't. They >had your passport.
Oh, and the agency charged you >almost 4months of your salary
(which, if you had to >borrow on a "20% per month arrangement" meant your
>first year's pay was all gone before you even earned >it).

> >The Philippines used to be one of the most important >countries in Asia.
> >Before & during my college days, many students from
>neighboring Asian countries like Malaysia, Indonesia,
>Japan and China went to the Philippines to get their
>diplomas. Until 1972, like President Macapagal,
>President Marcos was one of the most admired
>presidents of the world. The Peso had kept its value >of P7 to the dollar until I finished college.
> >Today, the Philippines is famous as the "housemaid"
>capital of the world. It ranks very high as the
>"cheapest labor" capital of the world, too. We have >maids in Hong Kong,
laborers in Saudi Arabia, dancers >in Japan, migrants and TNTs in Australia and the US,
>and all sorts of other "tricky" jobs in other parts of >the globe. Quo Vadis, Pinoy?
> >Is that a wonder or a worry? Are you proud to be a
>Filipino, or does it even matter anymore? When you see
>the Filipino flag and hear the Pambansang Awit, do you
>feel a sense of pride or a sense of defeat & >uncertainty? If only things could change for the >better.......
> >Hang on for this is a job for Superman. Or whom do you >call?
Ghostbusters. Joke. Right? This is one of our >problems. We say "I love the Philippines. I am proud
>to be a Filipino." When I send you a joke, you send it
>to everyone in your address book even if it kills the
>Internet. But when I send you a note on how to save
>our country & ask you to forward it, what do you do? >You chuck it in the bin.
> >I want to help the maids in Hong Kong. I want to help >the laborers in Saudi Arabia. I want to help the >dancers in Japan. I want to help the TNTs in America >and Australia.
> >I want to save the people of the Philippines. But I
>cannot do it alone. I need your help and everyone >else's.
> >So please forward this e-mail to your friends.
If you >say you love the Philippines, prove it.
And if you >don't agree with me, say something anyway.
> >Indifference is a crime on its own.

THE HARDEST THINGS.

2005-07-04T01:10:00.000+08:00

a. Being questioned when you yourself don'tunderstand
b. Pretending to be innocent of what you knowabout
c. Trying to show you care
d. Trying to forget something you know you NEVERwill
e. Admitting you were wrong after you have beenso insistent that you were right
f. Accepting the fact that you made a MISTAKE
g. Debating with yourself
h. Knowing what's wrong and what's right
i. Growing up
j. ACCEPTING the fact that some things are NOTmeant TO BE
k. Trying to understand when you just can't
l. Swallowing your pride when it has become TOOHARD and TOO BIG to even gulp it down withwater
m. Being the LAST TO KNOW about something thatCONCERNS you most of all
n. Realizing that you have been TRICKED after youhave given your WHOLE TRUST
o. Realizing that you have taken the mostIMPORTANT thing for GRANTED
p. PARTING with someone you've just LEARNED toLOVE
q. Letting GO of someone you've LOVED ALLYOUR LIFE
r. Losing someone you care deeply about
s. Saying sorry when you mean it
t. Saying how you REALLY FEEL and ExplainingWHERE YOU STAND
u. Knowing what is best and yet doing the exactopposite.
v. Bracing yourself for the worst kind of pain... &still hurting so much.
w. Loving someone too much and learning to lovethe pain that goes with it... that even if you learnedto let go of the person... you still go on missing thepain you once felt (and there it goes... you fallagain)
x. Denying to yourself that you're falling... thenfinally you realize that indeed you have fallenwhen it's too damn late and you cant get out
y. Being with someone else when the right onecomes along sad to belong...
z. Knowing deep inside that you love someone yetyou can't say it out loud...

wow another year again....

2005-06-17T03:17:00.000+08:00

yesterday,,,,june 16 was my 25th birthday.....another year again....
i just wish this coming year will be a good one...

ill share to you another song...its one of my fav...

FALLIN BY JANNO GIBBS

Ooh... yeah... our little conversation
are turning into little sweet sensation
and they're only getting sweeter every time
our friendly get together
are turning into visions of forever
if I just believe this foolish heart of mine

I can't pretend
that Im just a friend
'cause Im thinking maybe we were meant to be

chorus:

I think Im fallin',
fallin' in love with you
and I don't, I don't know what to do
Im afraid you'd turn away
but Ill say it anyway

coda:
I think Im fallin...
for you Im fallin' for you...

whenever we're together
wishing that goodbyes would turn to never
'cause with you is where Ill always wanna be
whenever Im beside you
all I really wanna do is hold you
no one else but you has meant this much to me

I cant pretend
that Im just a friend
'cause Im thinking maybe we were meant to be

repeat chorus 2x

coda 2:

I think Im fallin'...
for you Im fallin' for you Im fallin',
Im fallin' for you Im fallin',
Im fallin for you and I don't know what to do,
yeah fallin', Im fallin' for you

nothing much....

2005-06-15T03:15:00.000+08:00

i want to share to you one of my favorite song...which is entitled...
WHAT DO I DO by NYOY VOLANTE....

What do I do
What would you do
if I told you that
All that I do's think of what we had
What would you do
if I'm not the friend I used to be
Well, at least, not to me

REFRAIN

1'Cause I can't get over all the times you stay
Get crazy, jealous every time you're away
Now I'm someone different from the one you knew
Had nothing to feel for you, to feel for you

CHORUS

What do I doI keep calling out your name
What do I doI got no one else to blame
What do I doEvery time I hold your hand, it's not the same
What do I doI think I fell in love with you

What can I do, what can I say
Everything keeps changing every night, every day
Every word so diff'rent, every touch so real
Every glance and every look reveals the way I feel

REFRAIN 2

No, it's never ever gonna be the same
When we hug for warmth from the cold of the rain
Yet I'm not gonna move on, not gonna change
Though I find it hard to say,
baby
[Repeat CHORUS]

BRIDGEI

don't know what to doI'm fallin' more for you
Baby, please tell me...
[Repeat CHORUS]

pano mo malalaman kung mahal ka nga nya?

2005-05-25T02:53:00.000+08:00

>1.pr0ud xha seu, khit kasama nya tropa nya
"baby, honey etc." pa rin ang tawag nya saiyo

>2. gsto mong subukan? halimbawa:
may lakad sila ng barkada nya, magyaya ka ng date..
kung ikaw ang pinili nya, YEHEY! love ka nun

>3. khit sang lupalop xha ng mundo
NEVER nyang iooff ang cellphone nya kxe bka tumawag ka at mag alala..
BONUS: mag iiloveu sha khit may makarinig pang ibang tao.

>4. kahit wlang gift, alam nyang anniversary nyo

>5. sa sobrang pag seselos nya, binabasa nya ang mga text msgs mo..
mas matanong mas makulit. mas mahal ka nun!

>6. imbis na proud xha kxe maganda ka,
gsto ka pa nyang pumanget to the point na sha na lang ang titingin seu!

>7. ikaw lang ang may karapatang pumuyat sa kanya

>8. wag mu lang shang pancinin ng onte, nag dududa na,
"MAY PROBLEMA BA?" tampo.. tampo..

>9. punta xha sa bahawz mo khit alam mong nahihiya xha sa parents mo..

>10. kasama mu xhang mag shopping ng damit, bsta pili mo..
un ang isusuot nya kxe maganda sa paningin mo..

>11. khit yosi boi sha, never shang papahuli kxe ayomo ng smoker.

>12. mumurahin nya sa msg/text kung cno man ung "secret admirer" mo ..
kapag di pa sha kuntento mag papakilala pa shang "SIYA"ang bf mo..

>13. AWAY NA NAMAN???! kung gsto mong matapos..
umiyak ka lang at sha na ung mag "so SORRY"

>14. lahat ng lutuin mo khit alam mong palpak
VERY GOOD para sknya.. hehe

>15. nagtatanong xha tungkol sa future plans "mo"
inaalam nya kung kasama "siya" dun '

>16. lahat ng ikwento mo sknya khit hindi xha interesado..
natatandaan nya

>17. palagi nyang sinisinghot ung buhok mo guys..
BAT NGA BA??!

>18. he kisses with eyes shut..
pero minsan sinisilip nya ng palihim ung itsura mo

>19. bagsakan mo ng phone.tatawag uli un!!!

LOVE DOESN’T NEED A REASON

2005-05-20T04:27:00.000+08:00

Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man : I can't tell the reason.. but I really like you..

Lady : You can't even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man : I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.

Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason.
My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her -- but not you!

Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm...
because you are beautiful,
because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man's answer. Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and became comma.
The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content:

Darling,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...

Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you..

Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you..

Now can you smile? Now can you move?

No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Do love need a reason?
NO! Therefore,
I still love you... And love doesn't need a reason

"Sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen,

cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart."

The difference between "Somebody you Love" and "Somebody you Like"

2005-05-19T02:34:00.000+08:00

>In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster

>But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

>>In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.

>But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

>>If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.

>But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

>>In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.

>But in front of the person you love, you can.

>>In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.

>But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

>>You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.

>But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you love.

>>But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

>When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.

>>The feeling of like starts from the ear.

>But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

>>So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is >cover your ears.

>But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and

>remains in your heart forever ...

The Secret Language of Flowers

2005-05-14T19:21:00.000+08:00

Many times, flowers are a last ditch effort. But what if your flowers could say more than, "I couldn't think of anything else to get for you."? What if they could say, "I love your beautiful eyes" or "Will you go on a fantastically extravagant trip to the East Coast with me?"

The language of flowers is very specific. Flowers can represent a noun, verb, even and entire sentence or question. A variable as small as a color or type can completely change the message. Although a common rose declares love; a Japanese rose dismisses a romantic partner with "Beauty is your only attribute."

If you decide to speak the secret flower language that peaked in popularity during the Victorian Era don't forget to give your loved one a list to help them decipher your sweet nothings.

SENTENCES:

Cedar Leaf =- I live for thee
Chrysanthemum, Red =- I love you
Clover, Four-leafed =- Be mine.
Clover, White =- Think of me.
Coreopsis =- Always cheerful
Currant =- Your frown will kill me.
Dianthus=- - Make haste.
Jasmine =- I am too happy
Peach Blossoms=. - I am your captive.
Rose, Japanese =- - Beauty is your only attribute.
Stephanotis=- - Will you accompany me to the East?
Virginia Creeper =- - I cling to you both in sunshine and shade.

NOUNS:

Amaranth, Globe =Unfading love
Amaryllis=- Splendid beauty
Chickweed =- Rendezvous
Clematis =- Mental beauty
Daisy =- Innocence
Fern =- Fascination
Hibiscus=- Delicate flower
Honeysuckle =- Devotion
Pansy=- Thoughts
Ivy =- Friendship
Moss =- Maternal love

IF A GIRL CRIES….

2005-05-12T03:18:00.000+08:00

If a girl cries in front of u,
it means that she can't take it anymore.

If u take her hand,
she would stay with u for the rest of ur life;

If u let her go,
it wil be hard for her to goback to
being herself with you once again.

A girl wont cry easily,
except in front of the person whom she loves the most,
she becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily,
only when she loves u the most,
she put down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of u,
please hold her hands firmly,
coz she's the one who is willing to stay with u 4 for the rest of ur life.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of u,
please dont give her up,
maybe bcoz of ur decision,
u'L ruin her life.
When she cries right in front of u,

When she cries bcoz of u,
Look into her eyes,

Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?

Think. Which other girl has cried with puresincerity,
In front of u, And bcoz of u?

She cries not because she is weak,
She cries not bcoz she wants sympathy or pity,
She cries, Because crying silently is no longer possible,
the pain, hurt n agony have bcome too big a burden to be kept inside.

Guys, Think about it,
If a girl cries her heart out to u,
And all because of u,
Its time to look back on wat u have done,
Only u will know the answer to it.

Do consider it,
Coz one day,
It may b too late for regrets,
It may b too late to say "im sorry".

Sory if.....

2005-05-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

sorry if i made you cry, i never meant to do so...
sorry if i made you mad, all i could do is say
sorry...
sorry for the corny things i say, coz you're the one
i'd love to please...
sorry for the stupid things that i do, coz your
laughter makes my heart at ease...
sorry if i tease you a lot, i just want to make things
sweet..
sorry if you go to bed angry, a minute or two later,
im gonna be the one to say im sorry...
sorry if i feel for you, coz its the only thing i know...
sorry if i made you stay up late, even though you're
busy...

sorry if i made an effort to be with you, even though
you never wanted me to...
sorry for the flowers, they never got to you...
sorry for my friend, who stuck with me all the way...
sorry i was stupid, i never found the place...

sorry if i got jealous, is it wrong if i do??...
sorry if i got serious, its the only sincere thing i
could show you..
sorry if i wanted you so bad, i ended up screwing
what we already had...
sorry if i wept for you, coz losing you would be
unbearable...

sorry if im not the one you expected...
sorry if you're all i ever wanted...
sorry if opened up to you and i was honest about
what i say...
sorry if i miss you every single day...

sorry if i disappointed you, i just wanted you to
show who i really am...

sorry if i loved you so much, coz you're the only
thing i could wish for...
but i could never, ever have...

TURN-OFFS THAT CAUSE THE OPPOSITE SEX

2005-05-09T02:45:00.000+08:00

Men Turning Women Off

Never ask a woman on the phone how old she is- her weight- or personal questions.

On a date do not ask a lady questions such as "How many men have you been intimate with" or "How many men have you dated since your divorce"-

Personal questions like this are none of your business and should be discussed at a later time.

Do not ever offer to "go dutch" - or make comments such as "I forgot my wallet" or "I can't believe how expensive this dinner is." This will be your last date.

Do not brag about how much money you make- what a good looking guy you are-your large home-expensive cars or your savings acct.

It is in very bad taste to flirt with other women, or look around at other ladies while you are out with them.

Do not bring a cell phone and let it ring and ring and conduct business while you are with your date.

Ladies Turning Men Off

Do not talk about your ex husband or boyfriend in a negative manner or make comments such as "All the men I know are jerks"- or "There are no good men left."

Do not discuss all your health problems, surgeries, medical bills, and doctor appointments, or car accidents. Do not drink excessively and act loud and unlady like.

Do not drill a man with question after question like you are on a job interview- such as "How long have you worked at your job"- "What college did you go to"- "Why did you get a divorce" - "How many women have you dated since your divorce"-Where do you live", etc.

Do not be business like and act like you are at work. Your femininity and softness must come out. Business like women usually do not get asked out again.

How to Know if You Love Her

2005-05-07T18:19:00.000+08:00

Knowing if you love her involves some serious soul searching.

Steps:

1.
Clarify what love is for you. Write down all your thoughts and feelings about what a loving relationship would be like for you.

2.
Distinguish between love and lust or infatuation. Lust is an intense sexual desire. Infatuation refers to the initial stage of a relationship, when you are "crazy" about her, but this feeling usually fades over time.

3.
Ask other people how they define love or know if they love someone.

4.
Write down how you do feel about her. For example: you enjoy her company, have similar interests, feel safe, trust her, think she is attractive, etc.

5.
Think about how well the two of you relate to each other. For example: How well do you communicate with each other? How do you deal with conflict? Do you bring out good or bad parts of each other? Can you show different sides of yourself?

6.
Ask yourself if you see and accept her as a whole person. Love isn't just loving the parts of her you like, but choosing to love her overall.

Tips:

The infatuation phase of a relationship typically lasts about six months. You may think you are in love and she is perfect for you. It often takes more time to tell if you are truly compatible and whether you can really love the whole person, good and bad.

Read The Art of Loving and other books about love. Wise people have been writing about it for hundreds of years. In our bookstore, look under psychology, spirituality or philosophy.

How to Know if You Love Him

2005-05-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

"He loves me - he loves me not" is easily solved with a freshly plucked daisy ... but how do you know if you love him?

Steps:

1.
Clarify what love is for you. Write down all your thoughts and feelings about what a loving relationship would be like for you.

2.
Distinguish between love and lust or infatuation. Lust is an intense sexual desire. Infatuation refers to the initial stage of a relationship, when you are "crazy" about him, but this feeling usually fades over time.

3.
Ask other people how they define love or know if they love someone.

4.
Write down how you do feel about him. For example: you enjoy his company, have similar interests, feel safe, trust him, think he is attractive, etc.

5.
Think about how well the two of you relate to each other. For example: How well do you communicate with each other? How do you deal with conflict? Do you bring out good or bad parts of each other? Can you show different sides of yourself?

6.
Ask yourself if you see and accept him as a whole person. Love isn't just loving the parts of him you like, but choosing to love him overall.

Tips:

The infatuation phase of a relationship typically lasts about six months. You may think you are in love and he is perfect for you. It often takes more time to tell if you are truly compatible and whether you can really love the whole person, good and bad.

Read books on the subject of love. Wise people have been writing about it for hundreds of years. In the bookstore, look under psychology, spirituality or philosophy.

How to Know if Someone Likes You Romantically

2005-05-03T10:18:00.000+08:00

Behavior

Steps:
1.
Pay attention to your conversations with the person in question. Does this person show a special interest in having a conversation with you and, once started, make an effort to keep that conversation going?

2.
Is this person "accidentally" running into you in places where he or she knows you will be, such as at your desk? At the Laundromat on Tuesdays? At your brother's birthday party?

3.
Make a note if he or she mentions future plans to spend time with you: "That band is coming to town soon. We should really get tickets."

4.
Spend time alone together. Canceling other plans in order to be with you longer, or not finding excuses to leave, could be a sign of interest.

5.
Has he or she been calling for random reasons, such as, "I was wondering if you knew what that pizza place down the street is called," followed by, "Are you hungry?"

6.
Has this person taken a sudden interest in your life and hobbies? This is a sure sign that he or she is interested in something - and it's probably not your stamp collection.

7.
Observe how the person acts around your friends - he or she might be extra friendly to your closest pals for a reason.

Body Language

Steps:
1.
Sometimes seeing someone you have a crush on results in telltale physiological signs. Does the person in question blush when you look at him or her? His or her sympathetic nervous system is probably going into overdrive. Does he or she have trouble speaking, using jumbled words when talking to you?

2.
See if the person in question mirrors your motions: When you lean back, he or she leans back; when you put your elbows on the table, he or she does the same.

3.
Note whether this person sits or stands in the open position - that is, facing you with arms uncrossed. In addition, a woman tends to cross her legs in a man's direction.

4.
Does he or she move closer to you and/or touch you subtly, such as with a pat of your hand or a touch of your cheek?

5.
Other elements of body language include frequent eye contact, holding your gaze and looking down before looking away, energetic speech coupled with open hands, and flashing palms.

6.
Does the person you're wondering about just plain smile at you a lot?

How to Know When It's Over

2005-05-02T03:49:00.000+08:00

Is it time to call it quits?

Steps:

1.
Be realistic. If you're being abused, hurt, cheated on or lied to, it's time to cut your losses and get out.

2.
Think about the future you're creating. If your partner is jealous, obsessive, possessive or overly emotional, consider the extra burden you are carrying in dealing with those behaviors.

3.
Is he a shameless flirt? Is she bossy? demanding? insecure? These are more signs of a rocky road ahead.

4.
Do you truly enjoy each other's company, or do you find yourself relieved whenever you part company? If the latter, it doesn't bode well.

5.
Evaluate your role in maintaining the relationship. If you feel as if you're doing all the work, it's time to talk or walk.

6.
Does he promise to call and then forget? Is she terminally late? Be honest with yourself. Is this what you want?

7.
Do you feel accepted and appreciated? If not, move on.

Tips:

Make sure you want to end the relationship because the person is wrong for you and not because you fear commitment. You don't want to send Prince Charming packing just because you have commitment jitters.

How to Tell if Your Online Sweetheart Is Lying

2005-04-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

Some online liars will tip their hands quickly, but the clever ones are hard to detect. That's a good reason to take your time before meeting your cybersweetheart.

Steps:
1.
Communicate with your new flame privately and on message boards and chat rooms.

2.
Allow the cyber-romance to develop slowly.

3.
Avoid exchanging addresses or phone numbers for the first couple of weeks.

4.
Watch for exaggeration or undue evasiveness in your cybersweetheart.

5.
Question your friend about his or her job, education, hobbies and family.

6.
Determine whether his or her expertise matches his or her supposed background.

7.
Ask more probing questions about his or her location, family, past and job after a month.

8.
Exchange pictures, but send them as files attached to e-mail or use a post office box. Decide whether his or her appearance matches the self-description he or she offered you.

9.
Try phone calls only after the friendship has endured a few months.

10.
Verify some of his or her story by using work phone numbers if possible.

11.
Call his or her workplace when he or she is not there for further verification.

12.
Arrange to meet in a public place if everything checks out. If not, say, "Good bye."

Tips:
Do not check your intuition at the door as you enter cyberspace.

Take notes on the comments your partner makes during chat sessions and save his or her e-mail. Check for contradictions as the relationship proceeds.

Warnings:
Never ignore your intuition about a cybersweetheart.

People who stubbornly refuse to reveal much about themselves should not be trusted.

Don't forget that you are dealing with a stranger in a medium where it is easy to lie.

How to Handle a Cheating Boyfriend

2005-04-28T06:45:00.000+08:00

Has your boyfriend been unfaithful to you? Handle a cheating boyfriend by following these steps.

Steps:
1.
Acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger, sadness and disappointment over the betrayal.

2.
Don't blame yourself for his actions. Remember that you can't be responsible for anyone's behavior other than your own.

3.
Try to set aside your emotions and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. What advice would you give to your friend?

4.
Evaluate whether his behavior has permanently destroyed your trust in him and in your relationship. Do you believe he won't repeat his actions in the future?

5.
Confront your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel about his actions. Let him know that cheating is not acceptable behavior in your relationship.

6.
If you feel you need to know why he cheated on you to obtain closure for yourself, listen to his explanations about his behavior. Remember that listening does not mean you condone, agree with or accept his behavior.

7.
Don't allow him to manipulate your feelings with sweet words of apology or promises never to cheat on you again. Be realistic. Do you honestly believe this was a one-time event, or do your instincts tell you that he'll probably cheat on you again in the future?

8.
Ask yourself if you would be better off with him or without him. Can you continue to enjoy the relationship, knowing about the betrayal?

9.
Find a constructive outlet for your emotions of disappointment and anger.

10.
Give yourself time to grieve over the betrayal. Whether you stay with him or not, forgive him for his actions so you can heal and move on with your life.

How to Choose the Right Color Roses to Send

2005-04-27T06:41:00.000+08:00

Roses are an ideal gift for special days, as they are considered by most to be the "queen of blooms." A long-stemmed rose is the queen mother.

Steps:
1.
Commit with red roses to signify love and respect.

2.
Communicate joy with yellow roses.

3.
Send a dozen white roses when you want to connote secrecy, innocence and/or purity.

4.
Show appreciation or gratitude with pink roses.

5.
Send light pink roses to say you understand, you're sympathetic or you're sorry if someone is ill, bereaved or disappointed.

6.
Convey desire with coral and orange roses.

7.
Give pale roses of any color to convey friendship.

8.
Opt for rosebuds to recognize beauty, youth and innocence.

9.
Announce a new engagement by wiring two roses together to create a single stem -and use it as decoration for an engagement party or send it to the couple.

Tips:
If the recipient doesn't know the significance of the roses' color, the sentiment expressed in an accompanying card will convey the color's meaning.

If you remove the thorns before you give roses, it means you care.

Leaves are a symbol of hope.

superman floor pillow

2005-04-26T18:38:00.000+08:00

superman floor pillow,
originally uploaded by Rain Cute.

superman fisherman hat

2005-04-26T18:37:00.000+08:00

superman fisherman hat,
originally uploaded by Rain Cute.

How to Know if You Will Marry Your Boyfriend

2005-04-26T07:06:00.000+08:00

Is he the right one for you? Keep your eyes open for signs that will let you know if you'll marry your boyfriend.

Steps:
1.
Examine your conversations. Does he include you in his plans when he talks about the future?

2.
Consider whether you're both traveling along the same pathway in life. Are you heading in the same direction? Do you share common interests and values?

3.
Think about the compatibility of your goals. Do you both want the same things out of life, such as a family, kids, stability, money, careers? Are you interested in his work and hobbies? Does he seem interested in your job and pastimes, even if he doesn't share your passion for them?

4.
Evaluate how he treats you in private and in public. Does he brag about you to others? Does he seem proud to be with you, or does he avoid being seen with you in public places? Does he stick around when you're having a bad day, or does he disappear when you need him the most?

5.
Evaluate how he treats your friends and family. Is he willing to be nice to your friends and family, even if he doesn't like them?

6.
Assess his honesty and trustworthiness. Does he do what he says he's going to do? Do you feel you can trust him and depend on him?

7.
Think about all the reasons why you really like him. Remember that lust fades, but genuine compatibility endures.

8.
Communicate with your boyfriend and discuss these issues to figure out if you're both meant for each other.

Tips:
If he acts secretive or ashamed to be seen with you in public, re-evaluate your relationship. He may be trying to hide something from you.

Warnings:
Since every relationship is different, eHow does not guarantee that you'll marry your boyfriend by following these steps!

How to Say "I Love You"

2005-04-25T05:00:00.000+08:00

Ready to take the plunge and introduce that most romantic phrase into your relationship's dialogue?

Steps:

1.
Decide if you do, indeed, love your mate. Most partners can see through a halfhearted 'love ya' - which won't do your relationship any good.

2.
Consider the possibility that your partner might not respond with the hoped-for 'I love you, too.' If you can handle that and still want to express your love, go for it. If you can't, then consider holding off until either you're certain your partner will respond as hoped or you're OK with it if he or she doesn't.

3.
Think about how you'd like to let your partner know the way you feel, keeping in mind that uttering those words may give birth to a lifelong memory. If spontaneity works for you, wait for the perfect moment. If you're more methodical, consider writing a love letter first, then telling your mate in person the next time you get together.

4.
If you decide in advance when to reveal your love, plan a special evening around it. Such relationship milestones warrant celebration.

5.
When you tell your partner you love him or her, do so while making total eye contact, and while you are holding each other. This gives the moment the intimacy it deserves.

Tips:

Avoid saying the 'L' word for the first time in the heat of passion - your partner may doubt the sincerity of your proclamation.

Dating and Marriage: What is Real Love?(part4)

2005-04-24T09:45:00.000+08:00

THE FOURTEEN CLUES OF LOVE( last 6)

CLUE 9. What Does Distance Do?

Infatuation: absence makes the heart grow fonder - of somebody else! In infatuation Sue and Sam have been interested mainly in each other's physical equipment. That is, what they can see, hear, smell, taste or touch about each other. Such interest is hard to sustain when a thousand miles are separating the couple. Since only a few things attract them to each other, the roots of the relationship are thin. It won't last long unless it gets nourished by a lot of face-to-face contact.

After the infatuated couple is apart for a few days or weeks, they begin to lose interest. After a while the physical equipment of some more available person begins to look good to them. So if it is infatuation, it will die with distance.

Real Love: survives separation. It may even grow. Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder. Why? Because love is rooted in attraction to the other's total personality, not just physical appeal. When you are in love, a great many of the tendrils of your personalities tend to grow together, to unite you into loving oneness. When you have to be apart, you are not your whole self.

CLUE 10. How Do Quarrels Affect the Romance?

Even a couple united by love will quarrel once in a while. Any time two people seek to merge the many facets of their personalities, there will be rough edges to iron out. That is to be expected.

So be prepared for some friction even if you're in love. You will disagree on a few things. Some aspects of your lives won't fit together well, at least not right away. There will be many adjustments to make, and sparks may fly at times until you get things worked out between you.

If a couple said they never quarrel, one of three things is true. First, they may be lying through their teeth. They've quarreled and they know it. They just won't admit it.

Second, they quite honestly may have forgotten. Over the years a couple may well discover more creative and constructive ways to settle disputes. They don't argue, they discuss. They learn the art of give and take. Third, at least one of them does not stand up for his or her personal rights. That's not a marriage. One dominates, the other just submits.

So the important thing is not whether you quarrel, but the way you quarrel. Ask yourself three questions.
(1) How severe are our quarrels?
(2) How often do they occur?
(3) What is the final effect of quarrels on our relationship?

The answers are good indicators of the nature of your romance.

Infatuation: quarrels will kill the relationship, and they tend to become more frequent and more severe. Since your main attraction is physical and the interests you hold in common are few, the few things you do have in common soon prove too weak to give lasting support. The fabric of your romance starts to wear thin. You begin to lose interest. You find yourselves disagreeing on more and more things, so more and more often you quarrel. The words get more harsh and full of mean barbs. You hurt each other more and more deeply – and you may even do it on purpose.

After each quarrel, you kiss and make up. (That part is oh, so wonderful, be it love or infatuation.) But your renewed closeness does not last. The bonds between you continue to go to pieces. Finally, the sour times overshadow the sweet. One or both of you decide that it's not worth the struggle. Hard as it is to do so, you break it off. You may go back together a time or two, but there are no bonds of love. In time, you break for good and go your separate ways. Be glad, not sad! You're lucky you had it happen before you were wed, because happen it would.

Real Love: lives through quarrels, and quarrels become less frequent and less severe. A loving couple has a broader base of things in common. Their relationship can absorb a good deal of strain because it has a firmer foundation. In love you feel more an art of each other, so you have more of a stake in working things out. You see a future together and seek to claim it. You try harder to find good substitutes for conflict. You learn to communicate in more creative ways.

For instance, you can learn to discuss frankly without arguing. Nobody wins an argument; it just confirms both of you more solidly in your own views. One couple makes it a practice never to reply in anger, no matter how great the urge to do so. When one of them gets angry, the other just shuts up until the dust settles.

"I'm sorry" may well be the hardest words you'll ever say but atonements bring at-homeness. It is only common courtesy to show others that we regret a past mistake. Such an admission will likely bring forth warm acceptance and response in kind from the other person. Does love really mean never having to say you're sorry? On the contrary, one should never take the forgiveness of another for granted, no matter how deep the love bond between you. Maybe our loved one does not demand that we say it, but it will be much appreciated if we do.

Constructive Quarreling

Quarrels can be constructive. An electrical fuse serves to keep a sudden burst of strong current from blowing out the whole power system. It may be better to blow off some steam and spoil an evening than to blow the whole relationship.

While they may do some good, quarrels can also do a lot of harm. Some studies show that quarrels may act more as a hair trigger than a safety valve.

Perhaps the key to constructive conflict is mutual caring and respect. A principle of child rearing could apply here. If a child ever has to be spanked, it should be done out of love, never out of anger or spite. The punishment should indeed hurt the parent as much as the child.

So it should be with marital quarrels. When the couple talks straight with each other, there should never be any doubt about an underlying bond of love. Each should be quite sure that the other deeply cares and is supportive, not destructive. The quarrel should not leave the partners hostile, hurt, angry, or bitter. The motive is to make the relationship better, not tear it down or destroy it - and each other.

Some couples tend to break up and then get back together over and over. They can't seem to get along with - or without - each other for very long at a time. This is more likely to happen if they are involved with sex.Sound the alarm bell! Most alert counselors know that if a couple breaks up and gets back together more than once during courtship, it's a bad sign. The couple should take fair warning. If it keeps happening before the wedding, it's likely to follow that same pattern afterward - and get worse. Who wants to put up with that for the rest of their lives?

CLUE 11. How Do You Feel about and Refer to Your Relationship?

Infatuation: If a girl is infatuated, time and again she used the words I, me, my, and he, him, his. She did not once use words like we, us, or our. She was unwittingly revealing her true feelings. By the use of these terms she has betrayed that she is still keeping her own identity carefully separated from his.

That tells us that she has not yet come to think of herself as part of a couple. She has not yet invested her self in the relationship. She's still clinging to her own selfish identity. That points to infatuation.

Real Love: Two persons who have real love, on the other hand, come to feel that they are no longer separate, but have in great measure become one. Since they see themselves as a unit, as a couple, they tend to use we and us and our when they refer to what happens to them. It seems only natural and right to do so. They don't even have to think about it. They are simply so much alike in motivation, attitudes, values, interests, and viewpoints that the differences between them are reduced to a minimum. There results a strong feeling of oneness; each person feels fully accepted, protected, and secure. They are still unique, separate people, but they merge themselves into a pattern of common bonds. In this sense they have become "unselfed."

In love, the couple gives up much of their separate selves, yet by doing so each becomes even more fulfilled as a self. A person's identity is not stifled by love; it is enriched. As they become a "we," each is at once a more fulfilled "I." They get double enjoyment out of everything they do. In the first place, each of them enjoys things as individuals just as they did before they were in love. But in addition, they have the added joy of sharing those things with the loved one.

CLUE 12. Are You Selfish or Selfless?

Clues 12 and 13 may well be the two most important in the list. They have to do with whether a couple are self-centered or other-centered. They deal with the basic, core attitude that each person displays toward the other. Such elements will be crucial to the success or failure of any marriage.

Infatuation: Why does Mike like to date Kate? She's the school's Homecoming Queen! Not that he likes her all that much. She is pretty and popular, but she's also spoiled and selfish. Still, he likes to date her because, since she's the "queen" of the school, dating her makes him the "king." He's the envy of all the fellows when they see him out with her. So he dates her, not for herself, but for the boost it gives to his ego.

If you are infatuated, your ego response to the other person is mainly selfish and restrictive. Your prime interest in the relationship is what it does for you.

Maybe you know someone who keeps a guy "on the string." She doesn't care much for him, treats him like dirt. But his devotion to her builds up her self-image.

Then there's the guy who wants to overhaul his partner over to suit himself. He is not content that she be herself. He wants to change her into the person he wants or needs her to be. These are both examples of selfish infatuation.

It's not wrong for you to have your personal needs filled. Every person needs that. But when you’re overriding interest is your own selfish wants and needs, when you have little or no concern for the wants and needs of your partner - then that's not love. It's infatuation.

Selfish Sex

Some people date others just for the thrill of necking or petting - or more. Sex is utterly selfish, using the object only to get satisfaction. If a person’s interest in another is just sex, then when they are through having sex with this other person, they are through with them, period - until they get the urge to have sex again. In real love, there is always concern for the welfare or happiness of the other person, regrets their lovers absence even right after sex, wants to be together with their lover, feels lonely without them.

Real Love: your ego response tends to be unselfish and outgoing. You care as much about what's good for the other as for yourself. You want her or him to get as much out of the relationship as you get. Love is a state in which each one of two people realizes that his or her happiness can be attained only when the other also is happy. As a consequence, each one lives not only for one's self, but for the other, sometimes even more for the other than for one's self.

If you're in love, you will share thoughts, feelings, attitudes, plans, hopes, interests, even intimate things you would share with few if any others. And the more you share, the more committed to each other you will become. If you are in love, you will also want to keep these shared secrets pretty private - even sacred. You will want to keep your physical expressions of affection quite private. You will shy away from obvious necking and petting in public. It is no accident that those who display a lot of affection in public also tend to get low scores on emotional maturity tests.

Commitment - a Law of Life

Not only is the unselfish commitment of one's self essential to a happy marriage. It is also important if we are to gain fullness of life in any are. One of the basic secrets of life is that a higher fulfillment of self comes as a result of committing one's self to something higher and greater than the self.

That's a lesson that the so-called "me" generation needs to learn. Such a commitment helps us to rise above mere concern with our own selfish needs and wants. It opens whole new horizons of value and meaning for our lives. The person least concerned about self is the person who becomes most fulfilled.

Loving a spouse or a family not for themselves but because they are your spouse and your children then that is selfish - another kind of self-love. This, like any other type of self-love, serves to keep you from finding your peak of fulfillment. So if you are to be fully mature, your circle of concern needs to reach out beyond the self, even beyond your own family and local community as well. Indeed, now our loving concern must include all people everywhere - the whole of planet earth.

CLUE 13. What Is Your Overall Attitude?

Closely related to your ego response is your general attitude toward your partner. Are you concerned solely with what you get out of the relationship? Or do you find yourself wanting to make sure the other person is happy, and that his or her needs are also being met?

Infatuation: your overall attitude is one of taking from the relationship. You will find that your main concern is what you are getting out of it, plus what you hope to get in the future. The other person is seen as a means to gratify your own personal needs and wants, to attain your own goals and satisfactions.

You like the person not for what he or she is as a person, but for what that person does for you. You use the person as a stepping-stone to get things you want. Your partner helps you get attention, go places you like, satisfy your sex urge, climb the social ladder, get out of a bad home life, or a host of other private ends. In short, you exploit the other.

Such an attitude will not help you build a long, happy relationship. If you are willing to use the person for your own advantage before you marry, you will no doubt do so afterward as well. You will marry not for love, but for self- centered reasons such as greed or lust, position or prestige, a life of ease or security. These are scarcely the elements of real love.

Real Love: If you have found real love, you more and more want to give to, not take from, the other person and the relationship. You want to share, give of yourself to your beloved. You are intent on doing all you can to bring happiness to the other just as long as it does not spoil chances for his or her future fulfillment, or threaten your future together. When you are in love, you want your beloved to be as happy as you are. If you haven't yet reached that stage, then you probably do not love.

CLUE 14. Are You Jealous?

Infatuation: jealousy is more frequent and more severe. When you're jealous you want to keep him or her wholly to yourself. You are, in short, being selfish and possessive. Your concern is with what you want, not with what the other person wants. You're afraid that he or she might enjoy - or give some attention to - someone other than yourself.

such a response is selfish. Your attitude is one of taking from your relationship. You are not willing to release theother person to do freely what he or she finds enjoyable. In effect, you are saying: "I want you to be happy, but only if you do what makes me happy. My happiness comes first, not yours." That is a sign of infatuation, not love. Jealousy is strongly associated with divorce. More than three times as many divorced than happily married persons report mate jealousy.

Real Love: If it is love, jealousy is less frequent and less severe. Not that you will never feel jealous. None of us ever gets to be 100% selfless. But the more you love the other person, the more you are able to release her or him. Release is an expression of trust, respect, and acceptance. To the extent that your love is not selfish, you can be free of jealousy.

If she likes to talk to another boy once in a while, he will not restrain her freedom. He wants her to be happy, even though he might prefer that she talk only with him all the time. She will not mind if he on occasion likes to dance with some other girl. Love does not restrict, it release. It does not imprison, it liberates.

That's why it's so important that love be mutual. If you love, you trust. That means you need someone worthy of that trust. That way you can free each other to be your true selves, in full confidence that your trust will not be betrayed.

As your love grows, so does your trust and confidence. More and more you learn to avoid the things that displease each other. As a result, jealousy comes to be less frequent and less severe. At length it may all but disappear.

If you set out to save your life, that's a selfish intent. The result is that you lose out on life. You miss the joy of giving, of being useful, of feeling needed.

SUMMARY CLUE: In real love, if you love someone so much that you want that person to be happy, even if you are not the one to make him or her happy, then you really love that person. But be sure you have read the signs right before you give up such a love.

CONCLUSION:A good, lively infatuation can be a grand and glorious thing. So when it hits you, don't do anything drastic about it right away.

First, be sure you don't get swept into some "quickie commitment" that you might later regret. By all means, take lots of time. Remind yourself that if the real stuff of love is to be found in your relationship, it will still be there next week and next month - and next year. No need to hurry into anything. You can never go wrong by taking your time. If your love is real, it will not fade. You can afford to be cautious, to wait. Be slow even to label it love. Above all, remind yourself that infatuation is never enough to build a marriage on.

Second, don't be too quick to get involved in sex. You will no doubt want very much to have sex. That is quite normal. The urge may at times seem too strong to curb. But sex can lead to a whole flock of new and needless complications. It can dull your ability to think straight about your relationship.

Infatuation May Grow into Love

If you determine that you're infatuated, not in love, you don't have to rush to end the relationship. Infatuation can and sometimes does develop into real love. Assume a wait-and-see attitude. If it doesn't last, fine. You have made no rash commitments, and you haven't dashed into sex, so you need have no regrets. If and when the break does come, you can much more easily accept it. Breaking It Up After you've given a relationship a fair trial and you're convinced that it's an infatuation with no future, you may want to call it quits. If you decide to do that, of course, try not to hurt your partner any more than you have to. Remove the arrow with great care. Be as nice about it as you can.

At the same time, you do the person no favor by putting off the breakup. That is cruel. As soon as you are sure of your decision, tell him or her right away. It may not come as much of a surprise. You have probably dropped some strong hints along the way that you had your doubts about the relationship.

In any case, be perfectly honest - and gently firm. If you see no future at all in the situation, make that quite clear. If there is no hope, offer the person none. And explain in full your reasons for the break. Remain friends if you care to. But be firm in you decision before you act, then stick by it if you feel you are right. Remember, if it's infatuation for both of you, you will both tend to get over it fairly fast.

If the person threatens you in anger, stall until you can get protective support from parents or friends. If he or she tries to hold on to you by threatening self-harm or even suicide, that is a bluff - unless the person is mentally sick. Even so, you cannot be held responsible for the immature reactions of others if you've done your best to be kind and considerate, yet truthful. A relationship that is continued under the pressure of threat is no relationship at all.

Dating and Marriage: What is Real Love?(part3)

2005-04-23T06:07:00.000+08:00

THE FOURTEEN CLUES OF LOVE (second four clues)

CLUE 5. How Does It Affect Your Personality?

Infatuation: causes a disorganizing and destructive effect on your personality. Infatuation makes you less effective, less efficient, less your real self. Infatuation is irresponsible and fails to consider the future consequences of today's actions. In such a condition, you might well lose your head and do things you wouldn't otherwise think of doing. You may even foul up your whole life.

One-sided love or infatuation and the PRINCIPLE OF LEAST INTEREST: in a one-sided romance, the partner who has the least interest in continuing the affair is able to control the other person. That's because the one who is more involved has more at stake. No one should use another human being for selfish purposes, but people often do. E.g. a girl who doesn't care much for a boy may keep him just to build up her ego to have someone care so much for her. Or for a convenience that she can always count on him for a date if nobody else asks her. She knows he'll put up with shabby treatment because he's so emotionally involved. Or the boy may demand more sexual favors than his girlfriend wants to give.

Real Love: has an organizing and a constructive effect on your personality. It brings out the best in you. There is an intense and satisfying feeling of greater self-realization and expression, as well as a feeling of having one's own personality reinforced and strengthened and enriched. Love gives you new energy and ambition, and more interest in life. It is creative, brings an eagerness to grow, to improve, to work for worthy purposes and ideals. Love is associated with feelings of self-confidence, trust and security. Love lifted you to new levels of maturity and responsible action. When you love a person you make an effort to be more deserving of the beloved. You want your beloved to be proud of you, so you try harder. Life has more purpose. You make plans and save for the future. Life takes on new meaning, more sparkle.

What if you have loved and lost? You may have had a real love relationship that did not result in marriage. Perhaps one or both of you did not recognize at the time that it was real love. Or some tragedy may have robbed you of your beloved. In spite of the pain of loss, you still are likely to be a better person for having had love. You can better understand yourself and be better prepared for finding success in your future relationships. You will be more mature. You grew through your love experience, and that growth will not all wither away. Whatever happened, real love will have an organizing and constructive effect on your personality.

CLUE 6. How and when does it end?

Infatuation: it stops the same way it starts - fast. The few things you do like about the other person - even those strongly held at first - begin to wear thin. All those other things you don't have in common begin more and more to rear their ugly heads. You begin to quarrels, conflicts, even fights, and then doubts about your "love." Soon you break up, UNLESS you and your partner become involved in mutually satisfying sexual relations. Then sex will frustrate the usual test of time. A good sexual relationship may hold a couple together as long as three to five years. But that's about it. Sex alone will not keep a couple together longer than that. MAKING UP THE TEST OF TIME if you are already involved in satisfying sex relations by stop doing it.

Real Love: it stops slowly. It will take long time to end a relationship and it will take long time to get over it. Love involves meshing many, many facets of two personalities. You grow together and become a unit. The person becomes a basic part of you, of your own personality. If a break comes, you are just not going to be the same. In fact, you may never quite get over it for as long as you live. That does not mean that you cannot love again. Social scientists are certain that there are a number of persons in this world with whom each of us normally can have a genuine, deep-seated love that will last.

CLUE 7. How Do You See Each Other?

Infatuation: you live in a two-persons world. You two tend to neglect your family and pay little or no attention to your other friends. You turn a deaf ear to your teachers or your boss. You fail to do your homework. You lose interest in things that used to excite you. It becomes not only the most important thing in your world but the only thing that really matters to you. Your relationship tends to be exclusive. Your other friends feel left out, neglected, or ignored. Since this "romantic love" (infatuation) is of such central concern to you, nothing must be allowed to stand in its way. You think you are justified in giving up anything in favor of this amazing event that has happened so unexpectedly.

Infatuation is a vaccine that immunizes you against seeing anything wrong with the other person. You tend to idealize your partner. No one can tell you anything wrong about the object of your affections. At best, you won't believe it. At worst, you may turn against the accuser in anger and rejection. If you are infatuated, you defend the other person against all critics. You just will not admit that he or she has any faults. You idealize not only each other, but also your situation. You two may have gross problems and obstacles to cope with - different religions, hopes, values, family, and cultural backgrounds. Danger signals by the dozen! Yet you are not concerned. You don't even feel the need to think about these enormous hazards before marriage. You think that somehow it all just has to come out OK.

What makes us idealize so much? For one thing, we tend to be on our best behavior while courting. We show only our best side. Another reason is the ""halo effect," or the tendency to judge the whole personality largely in terms of one or two highly admired qualities. One great trait or two can fool us into thinking that the whole person is great as well. And sex gets into the act, too. One study showed that male subjects who were sexually aroused rated the pictures of the same girls to be much more attractive than did the same males when they were not aroused. So in infatuation, you'll tend to see what you want to see in the other person, rather than what is really there. LOVE IS NOT BLIND, INFATUATION IS.

IF IT'S LOVE, YOU ADMIT THEIR FAULTS BUT LOVE THE PERSON IN SPITE OF THEM. You see the person's real merits and build on that. A mutual process is set in motion. Your love leads you to appreciate the best in the other. In turn, as the other person learns of your love, it brings out the best in her or him. You are frank to admit that the other person is not perfect. But you see so much to be admired and respected that you can live with those faults.

Real Love: as with infatuation, in real love the beloved may well be the most important person in the world to you. But there's the big difference. In real love, you expand your world to include the beloved. If you really love each other, you don't abandon or neglect your other relationships. Instead, you just add this wonderful new relationship to all the others you have. It becomes a plus, not a replacement. You still maintain good ties with your family, your friends, your teachers. You retain your interest in your work or studies - assuming that you had such an interest in the first place. Things that you liked to do before, you still like to do. Your world grows larger, not narrower.

IS LOVE BLIND?No, but infatuation is. Infatuation, like other extreme emotions such as anger, hate, and fear, distorts thinking. Only the passing of time will bring about gradual return to reality. When the ideal bubble bursts - and burst it will - pain and disillusionment sets in.

Again, it pays to be honest. Much of the pain and tragedy of romantic infatuation could be avoided if the couple would level with themselves and with each other. Instead, they hide their faults and misled the other into thinking they are something they are not.

For this they pay a terrible price. Perhaps the most important reason for self-disclosure is that without it we cannot truly love. How can I love a person I don't know? How can the other person love me if he doesn't know me? The answer: HONESTY IS A MUST.

We should behave like small children and "act our real selves."

Time is the infatuated person's best friend. It is both the great revealer and the great healer. When your heart has been broken, time will heal the hurt.

Time also is the best antidote for the deadly poison of idealization. As interaction increases, knowledge converts the dream image into awareness of the real partner. Awareness punctures the dream bubble and brings the relationship down to earth. Time can shield you from plunging into an unsound marriage on the strength of a mere infatuation. Love that is time tested is the real thing.

CLUE 8. How Do Others View You Two?

Infatuation: few or none of your family and friends approve of your relationship. Your beloved's friends likely don't think much of you, and your friends aren't very fond of him or her, either. Each of you will also dislike the other's friends. Real Love: most or all friends and parents approve. You like each other's friends and fell comfortable with them, because you have a good deal in common. What brings friends of the same sex together? If you are heterosexual you choose same-sex friends not on the basis of sexual attraction, but because of their personalities and because you have lots of interests in common. You like to talk about and do many of the same things. In infatuation, you have been drawn to each other largely by physical attraction. This is completely different from what attracted you to your same-sex friends. Therefore, since the two of you have few interests in common, few if any of your friends approve of your choice. On the other hand, if you really love each other, your relationship is also base on the many interests you share. You are friends as well as lovers. Things equal to the same thing are equal to each other. Since you like in each other the same kinds of things you like in your friends of the same sex, then all of you have a great deal in common. You all have lots to talk about, many of the same interests, a great many similar ideas. Thus you are all far more likely to get along well together. So most or all of your friends will approve of your relationship. So if few or none of your friends approve of your boy or girl friend, beware. Your "love" interest is probably based on physical attraction and sex. But if many friends approve, that suggests that you have much mutuality, many things in common. These factors are basic elements in a real love relationship. It follows, then, if most of your friends approve, you are more likely in love. Ask yourself. "Can you be yourself naturally with the person you love? Does he or she bring out the best in you, or the worst? Are you genuinely proud of this person? Do you enjoy being with him or her in the company of your family and friends?" To these queries we would add one more. Are the same qualities present in your beloved that you like in your same-sex friends? If they are not present, proceed with caution. It may be just infatuation, not love. When parents do not approve of a marriage, the failure rates are very high. Most parents love their children. So if your parents think you're about to make a big mistake, they are likely to oppose it. They don't want you to get hurt, to be robbed of future joy. If they're convinced you're making a poor choice, they just may be right. Since they don't have stars in their eyes like you do, they may be able to see the situation more clearly than you can. If so, then they are being your friends, not your enemies, by showing their concern or by not approving of the relationship. There is one exception to this. In a few cases, parents may not be emotionally grown up, not willing or able to release sons or daughters to live their own lives. In such cases, if the young person is ever to marry he or she must do so against the parent's wishes. But such cases are rare. So if your parents object, be very sure it is they who are immature and not yourself before moving ahead. It's usually a mistake for parents to "lay down the law" and forbid their children to see the person they object to. That will probably just drive the couple into each other's arms. This is known as the Romeo-and-Juliet effect. Studies have shown that parental opposition may actually cause a couple to fall deeper into "romantic love" or infatuation.

There is strong evidence that peer and parental approval tend to indicate love. Divorced persons were almost four times as likely to complain that they and their spouses had no mutual friends. That is, they seemed to have little in common with the other's friends. Happily married couples were far less likely to have problems with each other's parents. Divorced men were three times as likely to list "interference of in- laws" as a major complaint. This bears out the view that real loves are more likely to gain the approval of parents. When most friends and parents object, take special care. They are trying to tell you something you should know. But if most or all of them approve, that is a good sign.

Dating and Marriage: What is Real Love? (part 2)

2005-04-22T05:21:00.000+08:00

THE FOURTEEN CLUES OF LOVE(the first four)

Special notice about these clues:
1. The order is not important.
2. No clue can stand alone. All clues are important. Failing one or more does not mean you have to break up with your partner right away. It just means that you two are not ready for marriage and need more time to work them out.
3. One-sided loves will not work.

CLUE 1. What Is The Major Attraction?

Infatuation: your main interest is likely to be the person's physical equipment. The main stress is on things you can perceive right away - what you can see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. A marriage based only on sex attraction will last no more than three to five years.

Real Love: your interest is in his or her total personality. Before marriage, ask yourself: "What's she going to look like in 30 years?" It is a sign of real love if the answer is, "She will still look beautiful because of her wonderful personality."

CLUE 2. How Many Factors Attract?

Infatuation: the number of factors that attract you are relatively few. Just the smile? Just the pretty face? Just the lovely hair? Just the funny jokes?

Real Love: many or most qualities of the person - and the relationship - attract you. You like not only the way the person looks and talks, but the way he or she thinks and feels about things and other people.

Do you like the person's reactions to personal success? To failure? To tough challenges? To faults in his or her self, and in you or others? What about use of leisure time? And what about thoughtfulness, kindness, courage, temper, and temperament? Does the person have healthy and balanced attitudes toward money, sex, school, family, and friends? Toward the past and the future? What about bad habits? Ask yourself two important questions:
1) How many of the countless characteristics of this person do I know enough about?
2) How many of those things do I find attractive?

It takes time and effort to know a person extremely well. Only then can you judge your reaction to the many, many facets of that person's nature. If many or most of those factors attract you, this tends to indicate real love. When the excitement and romance wear off in a marriage, you need lots of other interests in common to hold you together over the long pull. You need to like each other as well as love each other.

It does not matter much that you like the same kind of pizzas and movies. It matters very much whether you agree on life-style and whether you want to have children; makes lots of money, or having two separate careers.

Two people who are psychological opposites may attract and have a good marriage. Social opposites almost never do. It is alright for a dominant person to have a submissive mate. However, the greater the social differences, e.g. a very rich and a very poor, the greater the dangers. The more you two agree on these issues, the better your chances for success in marriage:

ROOTS: How similar are you as to: Social Class? Racial, national, and ethnic roots? City vs. country backgrounds? Religions?

VALUES: What is very important to you: Religion? Money? Social position and acceptance? Prestige? Sex before/after marriage? Who decides?

CHILDREN: Do you like them? Want them? How many? What about birth control? If so, what kind? Who is responsible for it?MONEY: How much is enough? Who will make it? Save it? For what? Spend it? On what? Who'll budget, pay bills, do the shopping? (More married couples fight about money than any other thing.)

SEX ROLES: Who'll make decisions? Will both work? Will you share home chores? If babies come, will the wife work outside the home?

WHERE AND HOW TO LIVE: Region? Rural or urban? Fancy or modest?

MAIN INTERESTS: Hobbies? Vocation plans? Education? Recreation likes and dislikes?

INVESTMENT IN YOUR FUTURE: What do you plan to do about war, pollution, poverty, and so on?

CONCEPTS OF MARRIAGE: Permanent? Trust and fidelity? Companionship?

MAJOR GOALS AND HOPES FOR THE FUTURE: What do you want out of life? How will you get there from here? Who can help?

COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Can the two of you work out differences? Can you talk over problems with honesty? Can you solve disputes without hurting each other? Do either of you get mad or get grumpy when things don't go your way? Do you feel free to share your true feelings, or do you hold back out of fear or lack of trust and confidence? You'd best find out before you marry.

CLUE 3. How Did It Start?

Infatuation: tends to start fast. There is no such thing as love at first sight. A human personality is much too complex to permit that kind of instant insight. Your senses show you only the superficial, the shallow shell. Real love requires that you know and like the other person's whole self, and it takes time.

Real Love: starts slowly. Studies have shown that the longer the period of courtship and engagement, the better the chances for success in a marriage. There is no substitute for passing the test of time. A year is better than six months. Three years are better than two, five better than four. The quality of the time spent with each other is as important as the quantity. Understand that people can be great actors. We all tend to play games with one another, to appear to be what we are not. A couple might date for a long period, yet have only a shallow knowledge of each other. You need to find out what the person is like way down deep inside, beneath the display-window mask.

Caution to older people: People at late 20s are tempted to marry in haste.Caution to young people: You are more likely to be infatuated than genuinely in love.

CLUE 4. How Consistent Is Your Level Of Interest?

Infatuation: a couple's interest in each other fluctuates a lot. One day you feel sure this is the right person for marriage. Then you develop doubts and wonder if the two of you should date others for a while, to test your feelings more. The reason is you are attracted to only a few things about the other person - probably physical and surface traits. Your interest in each other grew rather fast. The roots of such a relationship are too thin to nourish it for long. Sex may also be the reason for lack of consistent interest. If a couple becomes involved in pleasurable sex behavior, their interest in each other may vary accordingly to the strength of their sex urge at any given time.

Real Love: the relationship tends to even out and interest in each other is consistent. If you don't reach the peaks of excitement so prevalent in infatuation, neither do you plunge to the depths. As time goes on, you come to count on your love. You know it will be there when you need it. That is not to say that in real love there are no problems to solve, especially in the early stages of your courtship. Problems of adjustment cannot be avoided. But the longer you know each other, the easier it is to cope when you have real love. The best way to predict the future is to study closely the evidence from the past and the experience of the present. If you had a good relationship all last week, and the week before that, and the month before that, then you are more likely to have it next week, next month, and the year after that.

Dating and Marriage: What is Real Love? (part 1)

2005-04-21T06:09:00.000+08:00

PROBLEMS MARRIAGES FACE TODAY:
1. More than 50% of marriages end up in divorces.
2. The remaining couples may not all be happy though they stay in the marriage.
3. The chance of having a happy marriage is less than 33%, if you follow the way average people handle their dating and marriage.
4. The media (books, movies, dramas, newspaper...) has been delivering a blurred concept of what love really is.
5. Problems of stalking before and after marriages (or divorces).

DEFINITIONS OF LOVE:

Simple Infatuation: is often called a "crush" or "puppy love." It commonly strikes those in the early teens or younger. Usually the object of infatuation is some highly idealized person who is some years older - a teacher, an uncle or aunt, a friend of the family, an actor or actress. Simple infatuation seldom lasts long. But infatuated people may be greatly moved with emotion. They spend a great deal of time in daydreams and wishful fantasies.

Romantic Infatuation: is often called "romantic love" or simply "love." It is a mix of sex and emotion - not genuine love at all. It will not support a marriage. It also leads to idealizing the person, having a much stronger sex interest in each other, and justifying a premature marriage. Romantic infatuation is therefore very dangerous because people will easily fool themselves to act out their intense feelings and sex urges. Romantic infatuation is "false love," but it may develop into real love, but it will take a lot of time.

Sex Interest: is a deep biological drive that seeks erotic expression. It is possible for people to enjoy sex with someone, yet have absolutely no other interest in them except sensual satisfaction.

Real Love: exists when your strong tender feelings for the other are balanced by reason and deep respect. You care just as much for the other person's welfare and fulfillment as you do for your own. Judgments about the person are quite objective and rational. The two of you have many values and ideas in common. You share similar goals and ideals. All these factors will probably be able to support and sustain a happy relationship over a long period of time. If you're infatuated, your emotions will be in charge. In real love, your reason is ruling your emotions. However, REAL LOVE and ROMANTIC INFATUATION are easily confusing people because they have one thing in common - strong feelings of attachment to the other person. Moreover, people in real love have some degree of infatuation and infatuated people have some degree of real love.

FACTS ABOUT LOVE AND INFATUATION
1. Many divorces and unhappy marriages have roots of infatuation and sex interest only.
2. Most youth are not sure what real love is.
3. Age and maturity give no immunity of infatuation.
4. Teen marriages have twice the risk that they will end in divorces.
5. Living together and have sex before marriage have tougher times to adjust after marriage.
6. One-sided loves won't work.
7. The following people are far more likely to have good marriage:
- Your parents are happy in their marriage
- You had a happy childhood
- There was a lack of conflict with mother
- There was a lack of conflict with father
- Home discipline was firm but not harsh
- You had a strong attachment to your mother
- You had a strong attachment to your father
- Your parents were frank with you about sex
- Your childhood punishment was infrequent and mild
-You have an expectant, positive attitude toward sex that is free from disgust or distaste.

Even if all of these factors are negative, you can still build a good marriage. But you will have to work harder and be more careful in your mate choice.

8. Good Marriages need to have these five types of love:
- Strong sex interest: strong erotic feelings for each other
- Respect and admiration: hold each other in high regard
- Friendship and fellowship: have many things in common
- Self-giving devotion: love in spite of each other's faults
- Affection: a shoulder to cry on when our burdens are too heavy to bear alone.

Relationship advice: ways to boost self-esteem after a break up

2005-04-20T07:16:00.000+08:00

No matter who initiated the break, the end of a relationship is hard on one's ego. While going through the grieving process, it's important to move on with your life. Jumping into another relationship to build your self-esteem is not really the answer to the post-break up blues and self-doubts. Try some of these other tips to help put the past behind you, and look towards your future, with more confidence and self-esteem.

Aesthetics: Whether you are a man or a woman, having a fresh start often means changing your look. You may have been in a long- term relationship and "let yourself go." Many times there is a sense of complacency in long-term relationships, and our personal style and fitness might suffer. Take an honest look at yourself and let's make some positive changes to boost your self-esteem.

• Hair and Make up: Changing and updating a hairstyle can be an important step in making you feel good about yourself after a break up. Both Men and Women can benefit from spending some time at a salon and updating their personal hairstyle. Put your trust in the stylist and allow them to suggest new looks for you. Be daring and take a leap. Changing your hair, and learning how to create fun new do's with it is a great way to start off your transformation.

Ladies, you might want to invite some friends along and make it a spa day. Relaxation and laughter with good friends is the best medicine for a broken heart and confused mind. Get a manicure or pedicure, have your make up done differently and follow it up with a night on the town. This is about the new you, emerging from your grief into your new confident self who knows she will survive.

• The Clothes Make the Man or Woman! Have you gotten comfortable in your sweatpants rut? Time to spend some dough on new threads! You don't have to spend a fortune to pick up just a few new items to make you feel fresh and renewed. Bring a friend along on a shopping day, and get yourself a new outfit for dates and casual nights with friends. Buy apparel that brings a smile to your face, bright colors and fun styles will help break you out of the blues and bring your wardrobe into the new social scene.

• Get in Shape: Whether you gained a few pounds or broke out of your previous healthy exercise routine, now is the time to reclaim the best that you can be by being fit and healthy. Join a gym, or even just set up an evening to walk with a neighbor, any kind of routine exercise will not only make you look good, but will allow your body to help make you feel better as well. Regular exercise is great for lifting depression, and seeing increases in your fitness level may encourage you to try out new sports like tennis, or even rock climbing! Decide what interests you and get your body moving!

Mental Changes: Now that the work of aesthetic changes is done, you need to focus your thoughts on the positives around you. Getting through the emotions of the break up is hard work, but working towards the future can give you hope and a purpose for your day.

• Write it Out: You've cried, and talked to your friends endlessly about the loss of your relationship. You may be tempted to further clear the air by communicating with your Ex… but don't look back. Write out your feelings in a journal, for your eyes only. This will give you the chance to honestly divest yourself of the pent up fears and frustrations that you may be afraid to confide to friends. The act of pouring your thoughts onto paper will also help you to stop perseverating on "what- ifs" and "should-of's." Once you write it out, put those thoughts away and get on with the business of happier living.

• Set Goals: Having a hard time thinking of reasons to get out of bed in the morning? Don't convince yourself that you are worthless or uninteresting. It is simply not true. Setting concrete goals can help to remind you of the things you want to accomplish and your talents and skills. Get yourself a large dry erase board and hang it in your kitchen, hallway, or bedroom. Create three columns labeled "Goals", "Steps," and "Deadlines." Have you always wanted to travel to Italy? Find out what it would take to make that dream come true. Contact a travel agent and perhaps a friend who may like to go along. Figure out what it would take financially and logistically, and set you a reasonable goal of 6 months, or even 2 years! The deadline doesn't matter as long as you are reminded of your dream and are taking steps to make it happen. Maybe you would like to learn how to cook, dance, or even just spend more time with friends. Make these into goals and start pursuing your dreams. Taking classes or even socializing with friends can help rebuild ones self-esteem and provide you with much needed opportunities to meet new people, and get to know yourself!

The Best Revenge is to Live Well: No matter what you choose to do, choose to do something. Don't let the heartache of a lost relationship continue to affect you by making you believe you are undesirable or uninteresting. Get up and get out. Rebuild your self-esteem by following your own desires and interests and spend some much-deserved time on yourself. Whether you think you would most benefit from a massage or a gym membership, set your goals, and look toward your future as the self confident, and appealing person you are.

Five things never to discuss on a first date

2005-04-19T08:34:00.000+08:00

Having a first date in getting to know someone can be awkward as we struggle to overcome shyness and find interesting things to talk about. Often we rely on conversational fillers to keep the verbal exchange going during a lull. But bringing up the wrong subject can drive someone away for good. Here are a few ideas about first-date topics to avoid:

1. Money. In general, don't bring up the subject of income or discuss generally about bills, payments, expenses, fees, or a budget. While there may be exceptions when such topics fit naturally into the conversation, they are not traditionally considered to be polite inquiries. Other number-related questions, such as age, weight, or number of years at a given occupation, may be best left in the dark at first. In time all such information (or most) will come out of the closet.

2. Past relationships. Marriages, divorces, child support, deaths, engagements, romances, and other kinds of personal relationships should not be brought up unless the other person chooses to do so. Revealing too much of a person's past may lead to a feeling of discomfort and perhaps the desire to avoid contact for awhile with someone to whom we have been transparent with intimate issues. General inquiries are probably acceptable to most people, as long as they don't start to feel as though they are being interviewed for a possible starring role in your next romantic production.

3. Politics and current events. Ironically, you will probably want to tap the surface of these areas. But avoid probing too deeply on a first date. Doing so may put you at odds with one another and preclude the potential for continuing the relationship. In conjunction with this approach, don't tear down views that oppose yours until you know where your new acquaintance stands. A simple give-and-take approach to sharing news stories and basic information may be enough to get both of you started on the road to mutual understanding. A tone of voice, facial expression, or gesture related to even a general comment on a topic will give you a hint of the person's views.

4. Family relations. Asking where someone was born or raised or the number of siblings in the family is fine. But don't pry into more personal details like how long the parents were married before children came along or whether your date gets along with the parents. Such questions may lead into sensitive territory that is better left for another day.

5. Personal details. Don't ask too many questions about where the person lives or the length of time spent at the current job. Getting personal with someone you barely know can be perceived as breaching boundaries, meaning you may not get a second date. Likewise, keep your personal information under wraps until you know a bit more about your new acquaintance and his or her trustworthiness.

Getting to know someone on a date requires patience and finesse. Observing propriety sets you apart as having class. While there are always exceptions for every rule, be careful about making those until you know your new friend a little better

10 tips for men: being romantic

2005-04-18T07:02:00.000+08:00

There are some men out there that will still throw their coat over a puddle to keep their wife or girlfriend from ruining their nice shoes, and then there are some men out there that think stifling their burps at dinner is a romantic gesture. For these men, here are ten tips to get out of the comfort zone and become the romantic Don Juan your wife or girlfriend may be yearning for.

* Do the unexpected. If you are a homebody who loves to just sit on the couch watching ESPN or if you spend most weekends working out in the garage, surprise your wife by going against your nature and planning a night out with her. Or, on the flip side, if you and your wife spend most weekends going out and partying with friends, plan a romantic night in with just the two of you. The most important part of this is that you actually PLAN the entire night. Don’t simply say you are going out and then hit her with, “So, what do you want to do?”

* No woman can resist being catered to, so send your wife/girlfriend out for some quality time with her friends while you cook her favorite meal. Make sure you serve her meal and make sure to do the dishes afterward.

* If your wife has to work late or if you know she will be working through lunch and eating a bland frozen entrée from home, bring her some take-out food. Most women love when their husband/boyfriend remember small things like that.

* When your wife/girlfriend gets out of work and wants to tell you about her day, actually turn away from the television, give her your full attention and really listen to what she has to say. Ask her questions about herself and how her day was. This is not the time to offer husbandly advice. Rather, act as her sounding board.

* There are fewer things better than a weekend away from it all. Plan an entire weekend for just you and her. This entails booking hotel or bed and breakfast reservations, deciding on a babysitter for the kids and picking out activities for you and her to enjoy.

* Wake up early one weekend morning and make her favorite breakfast to serve her in bed. Pair this with her favorite magazine or book she is reading and give her some time to just relax.

* It’s Friday night and you are going to watch a movie. Think of all the times she has sat and watched the latest action-adventure movie with you (even though she didn’t necessarily want to) and watch the movie she wants to, even if it IS the latest tearjerker.

* Men may laugh about it and think it’s silly, but, yes, sometimes we women really do like to just cuddle. Kiss and cuddle her to her heart’s content.

* Maybe you don’t necessarily LIKE to play tennis or ride bikes, but she does. Without complaining, do one of her favorite activities with her. * If your wife loves to cook, book a cooking class that you two can take together. If she is into dancing, commit to learning her favorite dance with her.

10 tips for women: being romantic

2005-04-17T04:49:00.000+08:00

When you ladies think romance, what pops into your heads? Do you think about quiet strolls on the beach, sitting by a fireplace with a nice glass of wine, or hot tubs with lots of bubbles? Do you crave excitement with your significant other or just some tender, intimate moments for the two of you?

Well, all of that is part of it. Those things are the setting for the dance of romance, or, to put it another way, the icing on the honey cake, if you will - but there are some things you should bear in mind if you really, really, really want the romance to come to life for you. With that in mind, here are 10 little suggestions that will make the love of your life (or even your companion for the evening) find you simply irresistible.
Ready? Here goes!

1. Have confidence in yourself and believe in yourself. Tell yourself over and over again, "I am a hottie!" No matter whether you are short, tall, skinny, heavyset, or you possess any other physicalities that speak that nasty old negativity to you, plain and simple, just look in the mirror and say to yourself that there is no one else in the world just like you. You are unique and fabulous - and now is the time to believe it! Remember, men and women alike are drawn to women who are cool and are self-assured. Be one of them.

2. Find some common ground. Find things that you and your favorite love person like to do together. It helps to make that bond even stronger. Go to a concert or a show. Go to a baseball game or an ice hockey game. Check out NASCAR. Do you like movies, playing video games, attending wine tastings or Country and Western line dancing? Do it! It's all about having fun together.

3. Smell like clean laundry and soap. Okay, this one may sound hokey, but guess what? While some men and women like the smell of perfumes and colognes, some do not care for it, and some are actually allergic to it. Now, if your dude or dudette likes a particular aroma, by all means, go for it. When I say that, I mean, don't overdose in it, but lightly apply it - just to leave a lingering trail. However, not to knock the scent industry, you understand, but just as a gentle hint, almost everyone just loves the smell of clean. It is indescribably sexy.

4. Find one food dish that you can cook or make really well. This dish is the thing that you make that all your friends rave about and they constantly ask you for the recipe, too. The way to a man's (and woman's) heart, as they say, is through the stomach, and it's true. If you are truly a rotten cook or loathe the idea of being in the kitchen, then call the caterer and order some of your lover's absolutely favorite foods. However, if your lady or gentleman friend likes to cook, ask her or him to join you in la cucina, to celebrate in all your culinary splendor. (You may not even make it to dessert, by the way!)

5. Listen. This may be one of the most important things you'll ever do to make your special paramour particularly entranced by you. The reason is that the more you seem to be interested in what he or she has to say, (and the less you say, at times) the more he or she will think that you are without a doubt, the most brilliant conversationalist of the ages. This is a complete and utter turn on for almost everyone.

6. Compliments. Compliments. Compliments. Remember how your mother always said that it is just as easy to find something nice to say as something, well, not so nice? Well, in this case, Mom was right! Whether you want to compliment your darling about eyes, clothing, haircut, getting cast on a reality TV show or even getting over a fear or flying, say it.
Don't be shy. It always makes that certain someone feel special when you can find something nice to say about him or her.
And, while we are on the subject of compliments, let me say one other thing. If you get a compliment - and you will - be gracious and polite in accepting it. There is no such thing as false modesty, so when your sweetie says something positive about you, take it in the spirit for which it is given.

7. Act silly. I can hear you saying right now, "But I want to be serious. How can being silly make for a romantic interlude?" The answer to your query is that by being silly, you make yourself vulnerable, but it also shows off how comfortable you are with being you. Are you still confused? Here's an example, then: play your MP3 or CD of the Meatloaf song, Paradise By The Dashboard Lights. Give your honey a hair brush and you take one, too. They are to be used as ersatz, impromptu microphones, by the way. Now, have your sugar take one of the parts of the duet and then you take the other part. Belt out the song in your loudest voice. It's a blast. It can also be an icebreaker if your evening starts out a bit more tense than you would like it to be. The point here is that you are having fun and your man or woman is sharing in the fun with you.

8. Touch his or her arm lightly while making conversation. Touching makes a connection and it can definitely serve as a prelude - to whatever. Enough said on that subject.

9. Make eye contact. Bat those lovely eyelashes, wink or just gaze into your lover's eyes. They say that the eyes are the mirror to the soul. Take advantage of this because with your eyes, you can speak and communicate volumes. Let your special someone know, with just one fleeting look of your come hither glance, that you are ready for some heady romance.

10. Laugh! This is absolutely the most key thing you should take with you from this list. Even if you remember nothing else, keep this one point with you all of the time. There is nothing so inviting, so appealing and so utterly attractive to members of either sex as someone who is having a rip-roaring good time. I am not making this up. Think about it. You are around someone who is laughing and what do you think? You think, I want to be with that person! You think, I want to be a part of that party. You are thinking that that person is flirting, having fun and having the time of his or her life. You know that you want to be in on it, so why not be it? Your sweetheart will think this, too - and will thank you for it more than you can imagine.

As you can see, it is all very easy, since just about every one of these things comes from inside of you. If you take these little ideas and tips, you too can star in your own romance tale. Enjoy and have fun! Ah amour!

Internet love affairs: playing it safe

2005-04-15T05:37:00.000+08:00

Despite the increasing popularity of internet love affairs,
some individuals do not consider this to be a potentially dangerous situation.
Hre's my account account of an internet relationship
and the guidelines of internet safety.

As more people today have access to use of the internet through careers, school, or home computers, the trend of communicating online is on the rise. With the increasing popularity of this form of relationship, some individuals do not often consider this to be a potentially dangerous situation. However, there are people and places on the internet to be cautious of, as my own experience clearly shows.

While taking a break from working on my home computer, I logged onto a chat room and quickly joined in on the room discussion. I entered these rooms periodically, but had never continued a conversation with someone outside the rooms. I began chatting with a male individual on this particular day, under my fake user name. I felt a strange connection to this person while speaking with him. We enjoyed all the same hobbies and activities. We had similar careers and both of us were happily married and had children. Neither of us were unhappy with our lifestyles, but we both had quiet natures and didn't have many friends to talk with.

We spoke a few times after that and revealed more personal details about ourselves each time. We eventually exchanged photos of ourselves, and began corresponding through email as well. I found myself rushing to my computer as soon as my husband left for work each day, and I realized I was becoming attracted to this man. In the midst of a conversation one day this man told me he was in love with me. The rational side of me said he was crazy. After all, we had only known each other for a few weeks. Still, my confidence was soaring by this point, and I wanted to continue talking with him.

A short time later, he began talking about leaving our families to be together. I decided it was time to end this cyber relationship, as I had never had any intention of actually meeting this person. I was very polite and simply explained my position to him. That evening we received the first of many prank phone calls, until we finally had to change our phone number. Unfortunately, this wasn't enough of a hint for this person.

He preceded to inform my husband about our ''fling.'' My husband and I eventually worked things out, but there will probably always be a sense of distrust between us. I have spoken to many people who assure me this does not always happen with cyber relationships. However, my experience certainly taught me a lesson and I only hope that others realize that not everyone is what they seem to be on the internet.
Safety guidlines to follow online:

1) Don't use your real name. Make up a fake user name.

2) When on a chat line, leave your public profiles blank. Only people you really ''know'' need this information anyway.

3) Never give out your address or phone number. Be cautious when someone else gives you their phone number, many people have caller ID today.

4) Avoid sending out your picture to people.

5) If you decide to correspond through email, set up an account with a fake name, or an account that does not display your real name. Many sites offer free accounts. Remember, you can always give your real name after you've established trust with a person.

5) No matter how sincere someone seems, it takes a long time to trust a person. 6) Ask yourself if you ever want to meet this person. If you hesitate, or aren't sure, you shouldn't be providing them with personal information about yourself.

How to know if it's true love

2005-04-14T04:27:00.000+08:00

Wondering if you've just met the perfect match? Here are some guidelines to help you decide if it's true love.

After several dates, you feel you've found the perfect person. This is your dream mate, the one who will stand by you through thick and thin. You're ready to tie the knot at last.

But is it love? Or is it a cheap imitation, like infatuation, lust, or even simple companionship? Here are a few things to consider as you make the ultimate life-changing decision:

1. Do you want what's best for this person, or do you want what this person can do to help you? For example, if your mate has the chance to get a wonderful job in another city, are you willing to pull up stakes and move, or will you expect the job opportunity to get tossed aside for you? Love means putting the other person's needs ahead of your own, even when that involves sacrifice. While blind agreement to any difference of opinion is unrealistic and unreasonable, a thoughtful discussion of what is better for each of you individually as well as both of you as a couple needs to take place.

2. Do you enjoy looking at the person or talking to the person more? Both are important to a mature relationship, but if you find yourself fixated on physical appearance, attracted to your mate because of face, figure, or form, you may be taking a superficial look at your loved one. On the other hand, you don't want to be taken in by flattery or false statements. If your significant other is all talk and no action, that can be a warning sign to drop the relationship before you end up with one broken promise after another. A balance of physical and mental attraction is a healthy signal.

3. Are you willing to wait to make the relationship work? For example, if your mate pushes you to do things you don't feel comfortable with, can you firmly say no? Will your response be handled respectfully and with patience? It goes both ways, too. Are you willing to wait on your partner to get more serious when he or she is ready, or are you demanding more interaction now? Can you wait to marry until the other person finishes school or are you pushing to live together first? Patience is an important virtue associated with successful, long-term relationships.

4. Do you support each other by anticipating and meeting needs? For example, if you need to work extra right now to pay off debt before getting married, does your mate understand that the situation is temporary and willingly wait for you to put in the extra hours at your job, rather than complain about your absence? If the person has a list of errands to run before the two of you can get together, do you offer to help?

5. Are you friends? Companionship lasts much longer than ardor, generally speaking. People in their 70's, 80's, and 90's may lose some of their physical spontaneity, but they maintain a quest for fun and a shared life until the end. Do you laugh together? Enjoy similar activities? Share each other with friends and family? Or do you expect your perfect mate to spend all free time with you exclusively?

Loving another person involves self-sacrifice and compromise. If you are attracted to someone for whom you are unwilling to be patient and to share all parts of your life, you may have a lot of work to do or disappointment to deal with after the wedding. Take time now to assess your relationship with these and other factors to see if you can make a life that could last fifty years or more with the person of your dreams. Because when you wake up, your mate will still be there.

I've learned

2005-04-13T07:12:00.000+08:00

I've learned
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do isbe someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.

I've learned -
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned -
that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned -
that you can get by on charmfor about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't compareyourself to the best others
can dobut to the best you can do.

I've learned -
that it's not what happens to peoplethat's important.
It's what they do about it.

I've learned -
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned -
that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.

I've learned -
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I've learned -
that it's a lot easierto react
than it is to think.

I've learned -
that you should always leave
loved ones withloving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned -
that you can keep goinglong after you think you can't.

I've learned -
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned -
that either you control your attitudeor it controls you.

I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamya relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better besomething else to take its place.

I've learned -
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,regardless of the consequences.

I've learned -
that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned -
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned -
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned -that my best friend and I can do anything or
nothing and have the best time.

I've learned -
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned -
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give methe right to be cruel.

I've learned -
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned -
that just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to
doesn't meanthey don't love you with all they have.

I've learned -
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how manybirthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned -
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating,
andwhat a tragedy it would beif they believed it.
I've learned -
that your family won't alwaysbe there for you.
It may seem funny,
but people you aren't related to can take care of you
and love youand teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.

I've learned -
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned -
that it isn't always enoughto be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learnto forgive yourself

GIRLS ARE COMPLEX CREATURES

2005-03-23T08:30:00.000+08:00

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of ouble-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another woman, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another man, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen If you listen, she wants you to talk

LOVE LESSON

2005-02-21T05:27:00.000+08:00

DeSpitE whAt wE tHiNk, mEn rEally cAn't ReAd oUr miNds.
A fEw hAvE bEeN blEssEd witH thiS sUpErnAturAl abiLity
bUt fOr thE rEst of thE mOrtAl mAles,
thEy nEed tO bE remiNdEd tO rEmEmbEr,
thEy nEeD to tOld to tAkE actiOn.

So stoP exPectiNg a sUrprisE on yOur biRthdAy
or aNnivErsAry or miGht trUly bE sUrpisEd.
SAy thE wOrds--doN't lEt the mOmeNt pAss.
But if thE timE hAs comE and gOne, dOn't bEat yOursElf tO pulp.
To ruMinatE in rEgrEt fOr thE rEst of yOur lifE bEnefitS nO onE.
MoUrn but mOvE on.
It's all riGht tO lEt yoUr teArs fAll but nO pUbliC wAiliNg pleAsE.
If yOu dOn't feEl lovEd, yOu're prObAbly riGht,
StoP mAkiNg exUsEs fOr thE maN in yoUr lifE.
He cAn't be buSy all thE tiMe.
He cAn't be perpEtuAlly cluMsy and cluElesS.
WheN yOu fEel thE intEreSt wAning, it prObAbly hAs wAned.
If hE cAn't makE roOm in his lifE fOr yoU knOw, it isN't likEly he eVer will.
If hE is nOt brAve enOugh to tEll yoU he nO loNger lovEs yOu thEn aSk hiM yoUrsElf if it is trUe. DoN't bAwl at thE trUth.
TAke it likE a wOman. Bow oUt grAcefully.
TherE is nO shAme in no loNger bEing lovEd oNly in clingiNg on tO
soMeonE whO no loNger lovEs yOu.

DoN't ask wHy. YoU dOn't nEed to kNow.
You neEd it fOr clOsurE??
YOu do nOt nEed him to rEcitE yoUr fAults aNd fAilingS--rEal or imAgined.
He dOes nOt neEd to heAr yoUr rEbuttaL eithEr.
He hAs reSted his cAse.
He nO longEr lovEs you--thAt shOuld be eNough cloSure fOr yoU.

Let it bE.
You dO not nEed to kNow evErything.Sometimes, love dies--for no logical reason.
But then again, there is no logic in falling in love out should follow the same pattern.
Remember, you can't love for two.
And you can't compel anyone to love you--despite how wonderful you may truly be.
It's still best to break up amicably.
Should you keep in touch?? why not??

Should you hang out??what for??
You can stay civil and compassionate with each other but you don't have to be friends if you don't want to.
You don't have to be mortal enemies but you don't have to be bosom buddies either.
I've learned that with age, I don't have to be wiser--just braver.
To love someone is a blessing.
But to stop loving someone is not necessarily a tragedy.
The dateless need not to be desperate on valentine's day.
They can actually be--simply delighted to be free.It is a liberating feeling to no longer pine for anyone--not exactly where I expected to be at this time in my life.
But I can't say I'm disapppointed.
It actually feels pretty good to be able to find the courage to be finally free.
I've learned to be happy without a man and that, to me, is a gift far greater than anything a man could ever give mE>>>>>>>

Do They Like You ?

2005-02-03T06:29:00.000+08:00

There are different answers for men and for women. Men tend to err in the direction of assuming the woman is interested because she's being polite. Women tend to err in the direction of assuming a man isn't interested because he's dividing his time equally between her and something completely trivial like, say, earning a living.

For Men: You'll know if they like you. Yes, you will. What this means is that if you're really not sure--then they probably don't. Most women are not teases. If you've been out on 5 dates and she hasn't kissed you yet, then she's going home to her friends and saying 'Jesus Christ, hasn't he noticed that I haven't kissed him yet?!?!?! Why does he keep calling me? He's going to make me tell him to go away, isn't he?' She may also be doing things like not returning your calls and only seeing you once every other week or so. Why the girl does keep going out on the occasional date, I don't know. It's just something we do. We were brought up to be conciliatory. Blame it on our mothers. But, remember, you should be civilized. Pick up on the cues and don't force a big confrontation. This way you both come out with your egos intact.

For Women: You'll know if they like you. Oh yes, you will. But only if you're not a freak about it. You know how if one of your friends is really busy and they say 'I can't talk right now' you hang up the phone and don't think twice about it? Because you know that you're friends. She's been nice to you 50 million other times, so the fact that she was short once isn't an issue. But if a boy does it to you, you get all stressed out and insecure and convinced that he hates you--even though he's also been nice to you 50 million times before. Don't succomb to this rollercoaster ride. (On the other hand, women need to be sensitive to the cues, too. If you're always calling and he's always getting off the phone--pay attention to that. It could mean he's not interested, it could mean he doesn't like being called at work, it could mean lots of things. Lay off for awhile. See what happens.)

Ten Tips for a Romantic and Memorable Valentine’s Day

2005-02-03T06:27:00.000+08:00

* Create your own Valentine’s Day card. Compose a poem or an expression of love that expresses your personality.

* Create a recollection collection scrapbook filled with favorite photographs, love letters, keepsakes from special occasions, and cherished mementos.

* Make a CD of your favorite songs as a couple including love songs that you both enjoy listening to. Buy some romantic CDs, classic videos or DVDs and wrap them all together with red ribbon.

* Jewelry is always a favorite. For the woman in your life, buy a heart-shaped locket and put a picture of yourself in it. Personalize the locket with your loved one’s initials so she’ll have something to wear that’s hers alone. Package it in a heart-shaped box or tied to fresh flowers. For your man, a good choice is the classic sterling silver ID bracelet or cuff links with his name or initials custom-engraved.

* Give silk or glass flowers, which will last forever. If your beloved has a green thumb, give a flowering plant to put in the garden to enjoy year after year.

* Prepare your loved one’s favorite dinner and serve it on a romantically set table and dine by candlelight on Valentine’s Day. For the sweetheart with a sweet tooth, make a decadent dessert such as a chocolate fondue with melted chocolate mixed with a touch of heavy cream, and serve it with fruit or cookies.

* Give the man in your life a personalized gift for his favorite hobby such as personalized golf or tennis balls that say, “I love you,” “You’re a hit!” or “Be mine,” or a monogrammed humidor for cigars.

* The gift of togetherness is precious, given today’s busy lifestyles. Plan a romantic, surprise getaway. Take lessons together to share in each other’s interests like dancing, cooking or sailing. Hire a personal trainer to inspire you to exercise together, or visit a spa together. Spend a night out at the theater and have dinner at a quiet and romantic candlelit restaurant.

* If you plan to propose on Valentine’s Day, hide the engagement ring in a box of candy or at the bottom of a heart-shaped flute filled with champagne. Buy a pair of monogrammed champagne flutes and make a toast with your favorite bubbly.

* If you want to propose at home, sprinkle rose petals around the house. Place heart-shaped candles around your home to create the right mood. Then, enjoy a quiet, romantic evening. Create a banner that says, “Will you marry me?” and hang it outside her home.

Feng Shui Love Tips for Valentines Day

2005-02-03T06:02:00.000+08:00

Tying the Knot This Year
For those who are tying the knot this year, the Sheep Year is an excellent year for getting married and what's even more special about this year is that St Valentine's Day (14th Feb) is actually on the Eve of the Chinese's New Year's Valentines Day (15th Day = Feb 15) which means that Valentines can last for 2 days instead of 1 this year! So those of you who have found or met someone already, or are engaged to be married this year, Congratulations!!! Well Done!!! Those who haven't found someone, - don't worry - here are some feng shui tips that can increase your probability of finding someone to love and to love you!

Throwing Mandarins into the Lake (To Fetch a Husband)
Traditionally, 15th Day of Chinese New Year (Feb 15th this year) or Chap Goh Mei is the night single ladies perform the ritual of throwing mandarins into the lake to ask the God of Marriage for a suitable beau! If you have been trying all these years to find a man, perhaps this is your chance to seize the auspicious luck for marriage brought by the Year of the Sheep! Obtain 3 mandarins and on each one, write the three most important traits of a man you want to marry. Silently ask the God of Marriage (who resides on the Moon) to send you a beau with those special traits you specified and then throw them into the lake which reflects the silver rays of the full moon! You need to remember that this is a ritual that only single or divorced women can do - do not attempt to do this if you're still married (even if you're separated!). More tips on energizing for Love

Introducing Feminine Energy in a Male Bedroom
While single ladies can throw mandarins into the lake to ask for a man, what do single men do? Well, if you're a male seeking to find a lady and have not had much success, look around your bedroom or apartment to see if your living space looks too male or in feng shui we call this too Yang! These are objects that reflect predominantly male interests such as guns, ships, cars, military equipment, hard colours, hard furnishing, hard leather chairs, deep/dark coloured furniture, posters of sports stars, pictures of war, etc. A room like this will only attract other male friends into your home! You need to start introducing some female or Yin energy into the room so that women are also attracted to your home. Introduce soft furnishings, softer lighthing and colours, posters of the dream girls you'd like to be with, sculptures, paintings of women, etc. If you're looking seriously for a woman to marry then be careful not to display types of women that you're likely NOT to marry as you don't want to attract the wrong kind of woman !!

Avoid Dark Red Roses with Thorns
Though it is the classical romantic bouquet to send during Valentine's Day, dark red roses actually have quite negative feng shui meaning! The colour red (apart from being used in marriage) symbolises bleeding and this has really negative connotations especially when the occasion concerned is all about celebrating love, companionship and happiness. The energy embued in bringing red roses with thorns are even more undesirable, so if you're planning to send flowers to your mate this year, avoid red roses with thorns. Roses by themselves are not bad - in fact pink, yellow, peach or cream roses (with thorns removed) have wonderful symbolic meanings associated with young love!

Red Lights in the Southwest
Energise the Southwest of your Living Room and Bedroom with Red lights! This is the ultimate conjugal secret for those wishing to have a more active social life inside and outside the bedroom! A friend of mine recently separated from her husband and was a little apprehensive that her separation would leave her alone and without companionship. On the very same week she moved into her flat, she purchased a pair of red lights which she placed on both sides of her double bed (which was on the Southwest corner of her bedroom). Since then, there have been not 1 but 4 different men knocking and calling at her door and one of them has already offered to take her on a trip to Europe!! If you don't want to use red lights, red candles are perfect too! This becomes doubly effective if used with Rose Quartz crystal mandarin ducks and paintings of Red Peonies in the Southwest!

Facing Your Love Direction on a Date
Everyone has a personal love (Nien Yen) direction depending on the date they were born. According to 8 Mansions Formula, each person's personal Nien Yen direction brings them happiness and good luck associated with marriage and matriarchal presence. For men, the Nien Yen direction helps you attract a good and gentle wife who will bear you many sons and take care of your parents. For women, the Nien Yen direction brings you opportunities to establish yourself as the Head wife of a household, and attract a man who will bring you happiness and prosperity through marriage. So if you've managed to ask someone special out for a dinner date on Valentine's, make sure you're sitting facing your Nien Yen direction on this date to maximise your feng shui luck for happiness! Who knows, this person might likely be the one! (Find out what your Love Direction is here.)

Remove Mirrors from the Bedroom
Finally, if you're bringing home your date for the night, or consumating a love relationship in the bedroom, I really recommend that you hide or remove your mirrors! Mirrors in the bedroom are really not advised for any type of relationship whether you're starting out or reliving a romance especially if you're pretty serious about this person! Mirrors are often said to reflect a third party in the relationship, symbolising a another person always coming in between two people. This often means an 'extra marital affair' but sometimes the third person can be anyone such as a discouraging relative, a green-eyed friend, etc...Two's a Company, Three's a crowd! Remove your mirrors, hide them or cover them up!

question!!!!

2005-01-21T16:06:00.000+08:00

i have question......

HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF A GUY/GIRL LIKES YOU?
WAT ARE THE SIGNS?....

pls answer..tnx

46 CLUES YOUR PARTNER IS HAVING AN AFFAIR

2005-01-21T16:01:00.000+08:00

46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair

Some of these are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell-tale signs that commonly appear when someone is having an affair. There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be interested.

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

3) He stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) He carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one
person at a time?"

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) She stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner I prepared when he got home.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

3) She sleeps with her purse by the bed.

44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

45) He tells you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

2005-01-21T15:59:00.000+08:00

Men Turning Women Off

Never ask a woman on the phone how old she is- her weight- or personal questions. On a date do not ask a lady questions such as "How many men have you been intimate with" or "How many men have you dated since your divorce"-Personal questions like this are none of your business and should be discussed at a later time.

Do not ever offer to "go dutch" - or make comments such as "I forgot my wallet" or "I can't believe how expensive this dinner is." This will be your last date.

Do not brag about how much money you make- what a good looking guy you are-your large home-expensive cars or your savings acct.

It is in very bad taste to flirt with other women, or look around at other ladies while you are out with them.

Do not bring a cell phone and let it ring and ring and conduct business while you are with your date.

Ladies Turning Men Off

Do not talk about your ex husband or boyfriend in a negative manner or make comments such as "All the men I know are jerks"- or "There are no good men left."

Do not discuss all your health problems, surgeries, medical bills, and doctor appointments, or car accidents. Do not drink excessively and act loud and unlady like.

Do not drill a man with question after question like you are on a job interview- such as "How long have you worked at your job"- "What college did you go to"- "Why did you get a divorce" - "How many women have you dated since your divorce"-Where do you live", etc.

Do not be business like and act like you are at work. Your femininity and softness must come out. Business like women usually do not get asked out again.

how to say ILOVEYOU

2005-01-21T15:57:00.000+08:00

How to Say "I Love You"
Ready to take the plunge and introduce that most romantic phrase into your relationship's dialogue?

Steps:

1.
Decide if you do, indeed, love your mate. Most partners can see through a halfhearted 'love ya' - which won't do your relationship any good.

2.
Consider the possibility that your partner might not respond with the hoped-for 'I love you, too.' If you can handle that and still want to express your love, go for it. If you can't, then consider holding off until either you're certain your partner will respond as hoped or you're OK with it if he or she doesn't.

3.
Think about how you'd like to let your partner know the way you feel, keeping in mind that uttering those words may give birth to a lifelong memory. If spontaneity works for you, wait for the perfect moment. If you're more methodical, consider writing a love letter first, then telling your mate in person the next time you get together.

4.
If you decide in advance when to reveal your love, plan a special evening around it. Such relationship milestones warrant celebration.

5.
When you tell your partner you love him or her, do so while making total eye contact, and while you are holding each other. This gives the moment the intimacy it deserves.

Tips:

Avoid saying the 'L' word for the first time in the heat of passion - your partner may doubt the sincerity of your proclamation.

what hurts

2005-01-18T07:14:00.000+08:00

There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving,
no matter how hard they try.

I wouldn't expect you to understand that,
or even believe it, but trust me,
there are some love that don't go away.
And maybe that makes them crazy,
but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity.
Somebody who never lets go.
Somebody who cherishes you forever."

What hurts...

:: letting go of a person u've just learned to love
:: reminiscing the good times u shared together
:: shielding ur heart to love somebody
:: trying to hide what u really feel
:: trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes
:: loving a person too much
:: giving up someone u never thought of giving up
:: having the right love at the wrong time
:: taking the risk to fall in love again
:: hiding ur relationship from someone else
:: controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
:: thinking of her every waking and sleeping moment knowing
all the while that she never even thinks a single thought of you...
:: letting go, because everytime you see the person, you only fall deeper
:: holding back only to find out when it's too late,
you both felt the same way,
but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out
:: falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall inlove with
:: finding the perfect girl...with only one prob....she doesnt love you...
:: helping the one you love court your friend
:: seeing the one you love crying for someone else
:: the waiting also hurts like hell
:: having to hear "... I've met someone"

THE REASON

2005-01-15T07:38:00.000+08:00

The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things
I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears

Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

unconditional love

2005-01-10T07:47:00.000+08:00

Message:
From the very Begining,
the girl's family objectedstrongly on her dating this guy.
Saying that ithas got to do with family background,
& that the girlwill have to suffer for the rest of her life ifshe were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel veryoften.
Though the girl love the guy deeply, butshe always ask him:
"How deep is your love forme?"
As the guy is not good with his words,
this oftencause the girl to be very upset.
With that & thefamily's pressure,
the girl often vent her angeron him.
As for him, he only endure it in silence.
After a couple of years,
the guy finally graduated& decided to further his studies in overseas.
Before leaving,
he proposed to the girl: "I'm notvery good with words.
But all I know is that Ilove you.
If you allow me, I will take care of youfor the rest of my life.
As for your family,
I'lltry my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"
The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination,
the family finally gave in &agreed to let them get married.
So before heleave, they got engaged.
The girl went out to the working society,
whereasthe guy was overseas, continuing his studies.
Theysent their love through emails & phone calls.
Though it's hard,
but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work,
she was knocked down by a car that lost control.
When she woke up, she saw her parents beside herbed.
She realised that she was badly injured.
Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her.
But she realized that all that could come out ofher mouth was just a sigh.
She has lost hervoice......
The doctors says that the impact on her brain hascaused her to lose her voice.
Listening to herparents' comfort,
but with nothing coming outfrom her, she broke down.
During the stay in hospital, besides silencecry,.....
it's still just silence cry thatcompanied her.
Upon reaching home, everything seems to be thesame.
Except for the ringing tone of the phone.
Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang.
She does not wish to let the guy know.
& notwanting to be a burden to him,
she wrote a letterto him saying that she does not wish to wait anylonger.
With that, she sent the ring back to him.
Inreturn, the guy sent millions & millions of reply,and countless of phonecalls,..
all the girl coulddo, besides crying, is still crying....
The parents decided to move away, hoping that shecould eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment,
the girl learn signlanguage & started a new life.
Telling herselfeveryday that she must forget the guy.
One day,her friend came & told her that he's back.
Sheasked her friend not to let him know what happenedto her.
Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with anenvelope,
containing an invitation card for theguy's wedding.
The girl was shattered.
Whenshe open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.
When she was about to ask her friend what's goingon,
she saw the guy standing in front of her.
He used sign language telling her
"I've spent ayear's time to learn sign language.
Just to letyou know that I've not forgotten our promise.
Letme have the chance to be your voice.
I Love You.
With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger.
The girl finally smiled!

if u love some1 say it or it myt be 2 late

2005-01-10T07:41:00.000+08:00

As I sat there in english class,
I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called 'best friend'
. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

11th grade, The phone rang.
On the other end, it was her.
She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

Senior year, The day before prom she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, has not gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together-just as 'best friends'.
So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine- but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and don't know why.

Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married.
That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read: "...I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!...
'I wish I did too...'
I thought to myself, and i cried.

DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR,
TELL HER/HIM THAT YOU LOVE THEM.
EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THEY'LL REACT
JUST LET THEM KNOW HOW YOU 'REALLY' FEEL ABOUT THEM
. THEY WONT BE THERE FOREVER

let go n move on

2005-01-10T07:36:00.000+08:00

Minsan, iniisip natin na mag LET GO...na mag MOVE ON...
Iniisip pa lang natin, nasasaktan na tayo...
What if we walk or talk to finally LET GO...BADTRIP!!!
Masakit di ba?It breaks your heart even more kung alam mo sa sarili mo na, sobrang LOVE mo sya...
Marami ka nang nagawa na di mo nagagawa sa iba...
Pero di niya lahat nakita yun!
She's so blind to see and so deaf to hear!!!
Or probablyDahil ba...HINDI ka talaga niya GUSTO or IBA ang MAHAL niya...
Hindi mo tuloy alam if you should let go of your feelings for her once and for all...As I've said...
Mas madali siguro mag-LET GO if you know she doesn't give a damn about you...
Syempre kung meron...hindi niya pababayaan na MAWALA ka...But if you think...
OK lang sa kanya yun...
Don't be a FOOL!!!LET GO...
How would you fight for THE ONE you LOVE?
MAHAL mo nga pero habang ipinaglalaban mo naman siya...pinagtatabuyan ka naman niya!!!!
What are we to do?
E ganyan talaga!REALITY BITES, as the saying goes...
MASAKIT, MAHIRAP, PARANG di MO MAKAKAYA...
OO, that's NORMAL sa pag LE-LET GO.
Sometimes...you'ld really want to forget all the hurts and convince yourself that
YOU'LL BE LOVING HER NO MATTER WHAT,
COME WHAT MAY,
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!
Ang nakapagtataka pa dun...bakit ayan ka na naman..di mo naisip..
.NAPATAWAD mo siya agad at nakalimutan ang sakit...
PERO WALA NAMAN SiYANG GINAGAWA...
WALA SIYANG GINAGAWA KUNDI SAKTAN KA!!!
ang mas masakit pa dyan...THE DAMN CYCLE GOES ON AND ON AND ON...
Paulit-ulit lang yan..
OK..Palusot ng IBA..
. pag mahal mo, di ka magsasawa...
KAMOTE!!!!!C'mon!!!
MAGSAWA NA tayo sa MGA SAKIT na binibigay nila!!!

THINK GUYZ!!!kung gano natin sila kamahal...
GANUN DIN nila tayo sinaktan...mahal ba natin sila dahil ganun sila?
oganun sila dahil ALAM nila na mahal natin sila?!!!
Hai... bad trip talaga ang mga taong katulad nila..
.DAIL PINAKAWALAN NILA ANG TULAD NATIN!
Im NOT expecting you to absorb everything i'm trying to say here...
All I want is for u to REFLECT...BIBITAW NA BA AKO?
Who knows... pag bitaw mo sa kanya...
MAY DARATING na MAS DESERVING...
Someone who will hold your hand and GROW OLD with you.....
So now...Will you...
MOVE ON AND LET GO...
or be like that for life?
Think.

2005-01-06T04:53:00.000+08:00

My Superman

Superman - Five For Fighting

2005-01-04T02:15:00.000+08:00

I can’t stand to fly

I’m not that naive

I’m just out to find

The better part of me



I’m more than a bird

I’m more than a plane

More than some pretty face beside a train

It’s not easy to be me





Wish that I could cry

Fall upon my knees

Find a way to lie

About a home I’ll never see



It may sound absurd

But don’t be naive

Even Heroes have the right to bleed

I may be disturbed

But won’t you conceed

Even Heroes have the right to dream

It’s not easy to be me



Up, up and away, away from me

It’s all right

You can all sleep sound tonight

I’m not crazy, or anything...



I can’t stand to fly

I’m not that naive

Men weren’t meant to ride

With clouds between their knees



I’m only a man in a silly red sheet

Digging for kryptonite on this one way street

Only a man in a funny red sheet

Looking for special things inside of me.....inside of me



It’s not easy to be me